I am enough

There is currently no trying in my title of this post.
I am not trying to be overwhelmed.
I simply am.

I am overwhelmed with bitterness, sadness, loss, compassion, confusion, certainty and love.

Today I told myself I was going to write a blog about how this summer went, an apology to my kiddos for not having enough play dates, and how I don't have a tribe (group of friends, community, solid, depth, somewhere to belong).  A mixture of things really.

A combination of events happened last night and today have let me to write differently.  But while doing my Hebrews study I wrote a prayer to God that contained: To be vulnerable we remember we are enough and belong.  I don't feel like I belong with a group, or even with most people.

Later I wrote:

Every time I stop and think that I am
Not enough. I will
Out loud speak truth; that I
Understand that I am loved.
God gave me an identity; in
Him I realize I am worthy.  I belong.      

So as today continues to unfolded I realized that my own selfish needs to be heard are all for my own outcry.

Right now, I need a war cry.

Romans 8:26
Isaiah 4:23

I wrote the above almost 4 years ago, but never published it. It still, sadly, seems fitting. 

Some of my past blogs remind me, in my own words, how far I have come. And how lonely the journey has been. 

* Uninvited Book Study circa 2016

* Mentor {Open Letter}

Image Credit

{MOMent} hello to 2021

Currently listening to: "Super Smash Bros; Minecraft version" 

Here I sit at the computer. Coffee to my right. Snow just fell in my view. Boys playing a few minutes of games after helping me make breakfast. 

It's. Nice. 

OH, wait, the youngest is arguing now. Cool. 

I haven't written in several months for several reasons. I would read articles over a "hot topic" or issue that our country is facing. I would sit for a few days reflecting on my thoughts and by the time I had them organized and ready to type up a blog, the issue at hand would change. 

Now, I don't write for my readers. I write for myself. But what's the point of writing my opinion when I already sorted it out. I mean, yes it's good to have my thoughts out there to later have (a history)..... but time was also an issue.  

I don't feel like I have a lot of time. But that's an excuse.

So here's a cliff notes version of my thoughts for the last quarter of 2020:
Love people. 

This last year I had people declare that they no longer wanted a friendship with me. Love people. 
This year we have met new neighbors. Love people. 
This last year I started teaching after a pandemic. Love people. 
This year my children tested me daily. Love people. 
This last year we had an election. Love people. 
This year we had to deal as a country with a rapid virus. Love people. 
This last year we had to keep digging through racial tension and murder. Love people. 
This year my husband "lost" a job and started a new job. Love people. 
This last year I started my graduate program. Love people. 

The past 5 years I have come up with a word to reflect on for the year. Like a resolution. Some years I had monthly goals or others would be more over arching ideas.  2020's word was BLOOM.   I went back and read my entry to why the word, bloom.  Little did I know when writing it what the year would hold. 

I do feel like I bloomed. I grew. I created roots in areas of desire. I was watered and pour into by some very lovely....needed people.  I also discovered that I am an "8" on the enneagram.  (So, disregard my previous post a while back about me being a one.... not true!!)  With this discovery, I feel like I really flourished into who I am and why I do the things I do. It all just came together like a beautiful puzzle for the year of 2020. 

Here we are. 
Hello 2021. You are approaching quickly. 
I don't feel ready (do I ever).  

I honestly don't know what word to use this year.  I have toyed with the idea of: strength, rooted, gentle, endurance, deep.  

But what I think I landed on is.... MOMents. That's not a typo. As a mom, we take moments very seriously. Our time is more valuable than gold. I often criticize myself for wasting moments with my children, or not taking time to cool my jets and be more gentle with my words (I have to volumes.... normal and mom).  

I not only want this year to be about me, mom, and my transformation to continue to challenge myself and be better. But I want 2021 to be how I handle the day to day. Minute to minute. Moment to MOMent.  

~ 2021 ~
* use the planner Jeremiah bought me for Christmas
* write down daily moments of joy (in said planner)
* have more devoted moments with my creator
* take more healthy moments (drink more water, watch macros, move more)

* graduate with my masters in library science (will be accomplished moment by moment) 
* take a moment when needed (without feeling guilty)

* be in the moment when around other people (teaching, friends, children, spouse, etc...)

I tried to {FOCUS} on others - an apology letter to those I love and serve

Current Tunes: Yellowcard via spotify
Mood: reflective

This topic has been something that has plagued my mind for several months; since we moved 'home'. As I processed the words in my head, I decided it would be best to write a letter. I like letters.

Dear friends and family,

First, I want to thank you. Thank you for reading this, supporting me in all that I do. Thank you for letting me cry, curse, and question in the safety of your homes and hearts. Thank you for asking me tough questions and extending grace when my response would be less than adequate. Thank you for your patience and diligence in loving me.

I keep a joy journal and I often find myself writing down events or times spent with you. Be it getting coffee, eating dinner, playing games, shopping or just a good heart-felt phone call. I needed those moments. Again, thank you.

I want to apologize for my lack of presence. When I get overwhelmed or anxious, as many of you do, I shut down. I have to re{FOCUS} on what is important and true. Then, without trying, time passes by too quickly and I feel as if my service is no longer needed.

Please hear me when I say that I think of you often and wish I had more time to do what is on my heart and what crosses my mind frequently.

For those that I didn't bring a meal to - I am sorry. 
For those that I want to clean your house, but haven't - I am sorry.
For those that I have to reschedule play dates over and over again - I am sorry.
For those of you that I have replied to your text... a week late - I am sorry.
For those of you that I have not written a letter to in a while - I am sorry.
For those of you that I want to have over for dinner, but schedules (or the stars) have not aligned in our favor - I am sorry.

Please do not think you are unloved or unworthy. You are very loved and very worthy! As many of you working parents know, balance is hard. Cleaning, cooking, caring of children, assignments (yours and your children), job requirements, extra activities.... it all adds up. It's a spinning plates act.

I want to do more. I do.

Please, keep asking to come over, for meals, to go shopping or get coffee. Don't be afraid to ask me to cook you something, clean your house, or watch your kids - I like that too and will do those. Ask me to pray for you, I will and with joy. Don't give up on me. I see you.

And if all else fails - there is always summer.

Summer = service.

Until summer, I will do the best that I can, but I am sorry if I miss an opportunity to serve and love you better.

Thank you for your understanding,
Megan

I tried to {FOCUS} on PRO LIFE....

Pro Life:

the (counter)argument from a Jesus follower

First, some background information.  I am an INTJ.  I enjoy facts, deep conversation, growth and development.  I have also recently discovered that I am a OneWingTwo which classifies me as advocate. I am a teacher, a mother, a Jesus follower.  And I am passionate. 

Second, I am going to do my best to shine light (from multiple angles... and articles) onto an issue or topic that has been plaguing my mind for a while.  Although it would make my life easier if everyone agreed with me, that's not my intentions with this post.  Through verbal processing and challenging conversations I am able to grow.  My intentions are to ask questions to get those around me to think.  Not like me. But think about what they truly believe.

****

For months I have been stewing over a couple of current events; they mainly fall under the word 'prolife'.   I have had friends and peers discuss the repercussions of getting vaccines in lieu of supporting abortions.  New York rejoiced as they legalized abortion. The government shutting down, sacrificing benefits to those in need.  Immigration and discussion of a wall being built to ensure our countries safety. 

How do you identify yourself? 
Pro-life
Pro-birth
Anti-abortion
Human rights advocate
Neutral
Pro-choice

These titles are sometimes used in the wrong context or without true meaning. I know I struggle with claiming to be pro-life.  *gasps*

I don't consider myself a true pro-lifer because I don't boycott living, explanation to follow.  Honestly, I am not for sure where I fall or what I call myself.

Personally, when I hear the word pro-life, I believe that is all life (in and out of the womb).   The Gospel Coalition writes about the term here. 

Boycotting
Some pro-life people are going to extreme measures and boycotting things that do not support their personal beliefs. 

For example, people are not getting vaccines believing that the vaccines had grown with/in aborted human tissue.    Does getting vaccines make me a baby killer?  Do they do more harm than good? Or vice versa? If I get a vaccine am I allowed to claim pro-life as my identity?

Does consuming chocolate contradict being pro-life?  Since the 70's the Nestle company has been under the lens for causing all sorts of problems for the living.  From formula and water contamination in unequipped countries.  To recent events of stealing water from the Lakota people. Are their products made my child slaves in terrible conditions?  Is that supporting life?  If a person purchases these products are they causing others to suffer? At the bottom of the article there is an image of some of the top brands Nestle produces, do you boycott all of those to protect life?

If you watch the Super Bowl are you against humanity, a non-pro-lifer? Major sporting events, including the olympics, has issues with sex(human) trafficking.  If you do not boycott sports, or even the internet with advertisements, are you really pro-life?

What if you can't afford child-labor free clothing and your garments that you are currently wearing were made by tiny hands? Do the clothes on your own back create an imbalance to being labeled as a pro-lifer?

What happens if you don't sign every petition allowing for all on death-row to be placed on the 'inmate for life' list? If one does not boycott the death penalty then can you say you are willing to protect all life? Does the death penalty align with your religious view or loving ALL people?

Investing
On the other side of the coin, if a person does not invest in certain ideas or products do they turn against pro-life ideologies?

Let's start with a basic concept.  Adoption or fostering.  If a healthy, totally equipped family does not choose to adopt or foster, are they not investing in pro-life reform?

What about immigration and building a wall?  If you support and invest not letting people (regardless of your reason), do you truly value the living?

Organ donation is yet another topic to consider when you want to discuss pro-life issues.  If you choose to go to the grave with your body intact, are you not investing in life?

Definition
Maybe just using the proper definitions will allow for better conversations to take place?  The online dictionary defines pro life as an adjective "opposed to legalize abortion; right-to-life." 

Last question: is being pro-life an all or nothing type of topic... or pick and choose what issue you want to stand firm on?

DTR before you get on facebook, twitter, instagram, etc before you claim one angle or another.  Define the relationship with yourself and with others before words on a device become deceived division makers.

(P.S. I am not trying to convict or accuse. I do not want to upset or hurt.  I am trying for us to dig deeper into our thoughts before we proclaim a classification or identity claim; making others shell up thinking they are inferior for supporting (or not) one idea or another) #getofsoapboxtalkingaboutsoapboxes. 

Remember: You are loved.

FOCUS {2019}

Hi friends, strangers, random passer-byers (totally just made that word up).
I have not written since... wait for it.... August!  That's right; August 5th to be more exact.  In about a week that will be a 6 month gap of my musings. 
Don't get me wrong; I have been writing but more in the traditional sense, pen to paper.  

But I owed it to my soul to write again, for who ever may read this, might need it.

I need it. 

If you read the whole post you will even get to read about my outlook for 2019.... for the last three years [2016, 2017 and 2018] I have written a post about my goals or resolutions and then at the end of the year have a synopsis of it all.

Why not keep that tradition? 

2018 in short I wanted to embrace ... well... life.  I wanted to truly embrace Romans 12 in all aspects, body, mind and soul.  I decided, as usual, to set goals for myself:

*Embrace my mind - read 18 books
*Embrace my body - be 140 pounds
*Embrace my soul - live and memorize Romans 12

How did I do? 
>I read twice the amount of books I wanted to.  That's right, 36 books in a year!  Some I finished in a day, some took me a bit longer.  Some spoke directly to my soul while others tickled my funny bone, a few even split my heart open making me weep - but all, were embraced and enjoyed. I grew up not being a reader and now, that's no longer a title I hold!  18 books✓
>My lowest healthy weight that I got down to around mid-July was 149 healthy, glorious, strong pounds! However, with a heavy sigh, I shot back up to my body's favorite... comfortable... spot of around 165.  That might just be me.  I should embrace that!  (let's not forget about the races I ran with glee) healthy weight✓
>As much as I would like to say I memorized Romans 12; I did not. I read over it on so many occasions, gaining something I didn't know was missing each time that I did. There were moments that I missed my mark on living out the gospel of Jesus and embracing love of all.... I get frustrated with people.... and my words get the best of me.  Did I grow in His word, yes'em! Romans 12✓

2018 was by far my least active year on the blog; 5 entries total.  Quality vs quantity?  Was I spending my time doing something better?   (tooting own horn) I did lead a group through reading Wild and Free by Jess and Hayley (youtube playlist of songs).  I also read through some life changing books Fervent by Priscilla Shrier, Dancing in No Man's Land by Brian Jennings.  Those were probably some of my top non-fiction books, with a few others sprinkled in between the several fiction books consumed.  

2018 I started a new teaching position; and at the start of the year our principal had us take an assessment (yes, a personality type test).  This was called "teaching to your strengths" and I enjoyed learning more about my strengths.  My top 5 strengths are (not in order of importance):  Achiever, Analytical, Belief, Intellection, Relator.  I really enjoyed learning more about myself and could not agree with the statements.   

2018 also brought some things that were hard to embrace.  Loss of friendshipS... yes, with a capital S, as in plural, more than one.  It brought death to beloved family members.  Embrace hardships is never easy, but as time continues to pass I can look at 2018 of a time of growth; through good and bad.   But honestly, a lot of good.  

2016 my word of choice was Be.  Be still.  (Ran a 1/2 marathon though....)
2017 I wanted to be better. 
2018 was going to be embracing whatever came at me. 
2019 I would like to focus. 

>>>>> F O C U S <<<<< 

Clarity, deep, seen, closeness, important, fog-less, clear, perspective, included, intentional, core, disciplined.... those are all words that remind me of focus.

I want my 2019, well, what's left of it, to be focused on all things good. This word, despite its meaning, has a wide umbrella of concepts it can cover.  Focus on love. Focus on family.  Focus on God.  Focus on healthy friendships.  Focus on prayer.  Focus on health.  Focus on growing.  Focus academically. Focus on joy. Focus.

Currently, in the moment, I am very energized by the evening.  My boys played all night and then fell asleep watching a family movie (while I finished my 4th book of the year...).  Our youngest is still in his clothes, which happen to be under his spider man costume.  Both are covered in blankets from their deconstructed fort/tent that they made earlier in the evening.  I had time to read through my Bible study, Seamless and started to listen and put together my playlist for the year.  It's been a great evening.  Focus on these little moments.

Just for good measure, my 'goal' for reading is to finish 25 books within the year 📖

So, as of January 25th... here's to 2019!  

I tried - being at home

We have been settling in for the past month.  Tomorrow I start back to work (my 7th year of teaching) at a new district.  Tomorrow also marks a month of us living in our new STATE.  Not just state of mind but actual physical state.   

It is hard for me to imagine that we have already been here for a month.  It still feels a bit like a vacation house (not that we know what that's like, ha!) but not yet ours. 

Last night though, as Jeremiah was working late, I hung up my jewelry.... in a very college-chique (cheap) way.  And as odd as it was, it made this space seem like home.  I had put off hanging up/organizing this space for a month.  Not wanting to face reality, true.  Not needing to purely out of necessity, true. Not having the motivation, nailed it.  But the coffee I had late that afternoon must have kicked in.... so at 11:30 at night I am revisiting so many of these pieces. 

The picture above is how any wall can transform into home with a few items.  Now, it does look like pretty basic jewelry and trinkets.  BUT it is so much more. Home is where the heart is... so people say.... and these items are my heart.   I have cameras from both sets of grandparents.  My maternal-grandparents have their handkerchiefs.  Our wedding invitation, pictures of being baptized... in February... in a creek (old school, amiright).  There is a little wooden box that I have treasured letters, one from my Dad <3.  The necklaces and bracelets from Bali (thanks Z), Rome, and Hawaii.  Some of the pieces, works of art, are hand made...made with so much love (thanks B and WG/J).... and some are made just out of love thanks to my boys and their pipe-cleaner skillz.  Several of the items are heirlooms from my grandmother.  Price.Less.   A necklace that I remember Gideon using as a teething necklace.   The one that I wear to literally put "faith" around my neck. The jar, once full of change, is waiting to be filled again so our boys can enjoy the gift of giving.  This is where my heart is. 

It's not fancy by any means.  But it's mine; and now that it is all hanging there, waiting for me in the morning, this building is starting to feel like home.

Home takes time.  Takes people. 

I miss my people.  Yup.  I am going to totally call them that.  There were not many, but it was not about quantity but the quality.  These girls that stood by my side, some since we were babies. It is a hard feeling to trudge through knowing that I can't just ask them to go to ihop or get coffee... that distance has crept in.   I know, and they have shown me the past month, that distance is not a factor (thank you for the text, videos, and catch up ladies) when it comes to friendship. And some of these dear friends have moved even over oceans as I stayed.  I am not saying I have not been hurt by people, for I have; even now trust is something that I struggle with.  But even with all the good and bad, leaving was hard.

Last week I celebrated my 31st birthday, and it was odd to reflect back when I met some of these great friends.  Before or right after babies.  I was still a "baby"!  But it was easier.  We bonded over lack of sleep, poopy diapers, teething and support of a strong cup of coffee.  As our kids got older we shared the love of games, books and movies, again... with coffee in hand.  We spent time at events watching our lil'ones explore.  It just seemed so easy, natural, effortless... and before we knew it, YEARS had passed. 

Now, at 31, I am starting over.  No more babies to bond over.... I mean, I will ALWAYS hold a baby for someone in need.... and talking about poop doesn't bother me... #boymom  but now, my kids need me in a different way.  I need friends in a different way.

So, instead of "I tried - being at home" as the title of this blog, it should be I am trying to find home again.  It's true.

To the people who we are getting to know.  Thank you for letting us come into your home, be apart of your life.   If at times I am awkward or quiet, I am just processing in my head.  If at times I say the "wrong" things - just roll with my sarcasm or call me out on it (lovingly).  I am just trying to find my tribe. 

I am not to replace the people we left, but to expand our hearts even more.
This transition will take time, love and people.

SO, to the people who will be in our home tomorrow and there after.  Welcome.  This is our home.

I tried - reading the Divergent series {November reads and December deeds}

Hey cozy friends,

That time of year where we all want to sit next to a fire place, fill our bodies with hot drinks, and just be warmed by one another's love.

Holidays!

We are already 1/5 into December and I am just now getting around to post about November's book, wrap up the month and look forward to what is ahead.

November was lovely.  I decided to take a small break from facebook - deleted the app.  It was nice not being plugged in all of the time.  I thought I would miss people's lives or articles or funny clips.  And I might have missed those, but instead I gained TIME!  I was able to really focus on what is important.

I truly believe because I removed one distraction from my life allowed for another to move in - reading!  Although not a bad distraction, what I was reading could have been more beneficial.

November I read not just one, not just two, but three books.  I read the entire Divergent Series by Veronica Roth!

These are fun young-adult dystopian fiction stories. The best part of reading these books was getting to discuss them with my students.  I would spot a cover of one of the books and instantly be able to strike up a conversation with them.  Acknowledging them and their choices   - making their day.

The books are good, and at times the "romance" for 16 year olds was a bit too much or adult-like.  But over all I enjoyed the books.  If you are looking to buy books for a teenager this holiday season, I would highly recommend these.

Now on to December. 

I have not yet made any goals or commitments.
I have not yet written down any scripture or prayer focus.
I have not yet written down any to-do's or projects.

My focus for this month:
Read - Glory Happening by Kaitlin Curtice  (a high school friend of mine).  It should arrive at our house on Friday!!
Scripture - I am currently still in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and appreciate reading through Romans and really getting a better understanding of it.  I am also following along with my husband's Advent Project: here.
Health - For the past few months I have been hanging around the 158-161 range.  Which is great that I have not gained any weight I've lost back; but still frustrating at times that I have not seen any changes.  But healthy focus and not vain perception is important too!

Don't let the to-do list, the events, the pinterest perfect ideas get in the way of what matters this season.

People.
People matter.

Love you all,
A mom who tries

Me too - An open letter to women and October

Dear October,

You didn't give us much room to breathe after September (suicide awareness month). But here we are, in the middle of it.  Facing breast cancer awareness but also infant and child loss awareness don't forget national coming out day and now there is a call to the "me too" movement advocating on behalf of women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted.

You make my heart heavy,
Megan

Dear Women,

To the women who are currently suffering, have had conquered, or grieving the loss of those battling breast cancer; you are strong and courageous! I literally have sat at my computer screen for minutes, trying to orchestrate the words that share my heart; but only silence is played. The battle you are facing is not one that people envy you for.  Thank you for being beautiful in all moments and stages of life; from the hair loss, to breast removal surgeries, to the inside as your heart going through times of being bitter and angry to finding life once more. You are not alone, you are loved.  

To the women who have lost a child or infant. This is a topic, in my opinion, that our society and our churches do not speak on enough, giving it the light and justice that it deserves.  Truth be told, this is a topic that I am not very good at navigating myself. So many variables to how you are handling and processing these major events of your life.  Stories after stories; I had a facebook friend share a picture of her box that holds treasured memories of her son's passing - something that took leaps and bounds to not only open, but open for all to see, letting us into her heart.  I can't imagine what one goes through day to day knowing a child is gone. Reading this article, about a family who donated their daughters organs, making a sacrifice to share life in the midst of loss.  My very own student showing me her baby brother's ashes that she binds around her neck, close to her heart, a beautiful necklace she just got today.  To all of my friends and family who I have cried with, hugged, and loved on during these tragic events, there are far too many. These stories are important, your child is not and will not be forgotten.  You are not alone, you are loved. 

To the women coming out. October 15th came and went and for those who were brave enough used the day to share their story. I personally want to step up on a soap box, I hate how a person has to be "brave" in order to be themselves, it bothers me (gets off soap box)... please keep sharing your stories.  I am listening. For my female friends who have already faced the masses, thank you.  Thank you for allowing me to be apart of your life, learning to judge less and care more. You have taught me so much.  You are appreciated! Your story matters. You are not alone, you are loved. 

To the women who have been sexually assaulted or harassed. You are not a victim. You were not "asking" for it. It was unwelcome, not invited, uncomfortable, forced, and something - that no matter what you do - will never go away. From physical touch to hurtful words, the scars that are left will never heal fully; shaping you daily into the person you are.  The movement "me too," starting on twitter, has been sweeping social media.  This letter is for you, that as you type those words "me too" I hope that you feel welcomed into a sisterhood of understanding, grace, and compassion.  That as you slowly tell your story, leaving or including as many details as you wish, healing will take place; a process that takes time. I want you to know that you ARE worthy. You ARE important.  I believe you. Tell me your "me too". You are not alone, you are loved. 

This letter is for all women.  Through stories (and sometimes coffee) we bind ourselves back together, weaving a tighter sisterhood.  If I could only reach through the screen and wipe away your tears I would. If I could only gently grasp your shoulders, drawing you into a hug, letting your rest your head on my shoulder - I'd carry that for you. If just for a moment I could stop time and let you take that deep heavy sigh and catch your breath, I'd wish it in an instnat.  You are not alone, you are loved. 

We all have a story. I am more than another number.  I am more than a statistics.  I am a me too. 

You are not alone, you are loved,
~Megan #metoo

PS - A letter is a form of communication, please feel free to write, message, text, call, e-mail me so we can continue our communication and sharing stories.  If possible, let's schedule time. I want to hear your story.

PPS - Men, yes I understand you can have breast cancer, loose a child, come out and be sexually harassed - you are loved too. 

I tried - joy {September book and update}

Hi everyone!
It is that time. My post slow down as life rushes around. My plans focus on educating 126 young minds all while having a functional hospitable home, doing both with love.

Y'all, it's exhausting.

For the past six weeks I lead a Facebook group, reading through Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts" - and although at first her over poetic flowery word choice was a bit much for my dry soul, I learned to love her words - they, her words, could take scripture and etch it deeper within my heart.  I think at the start I was just jealous that I couldn't write as eloquently as her.

When I started reading this book in September, I also starting writing down 3 joys, gifts, happy moments on a piece of paper.  Listing out on the times that brought cheer.   Some of my favorites include: 
undisturbed water droplets on a yellow leaf spotted when running in the rain
squeals of laughter as the youngest plays snake and squirms down the hall after older brother
reading books to a babe with lavender smelling hair
raining Saturdays with slow non-rushed starts
parking lot conversations with new friends
chick-fil-a (gotta keep it real)
coffee
someone asking if I am okay and wanting to listen 

I have now been listing for 41 days.

It's changing me. Just as Ann experienced in her highly recommended book.

Today's list:
asked to cuddle with oldest
moments to read another book
run in a long sleeve shirt clearing my head

This time of year is my favorite, but I also tend to drown in facts of my reality and loneliness.  My phone lies idle, my e-mail box empty, mail box vacant, truly just alone. As an introvert, I often prefer to gain energy being alone or in small intimate groups.  But this is the dark alone, not one of energy.  And as every year past, as long as I can remember, time will move on and self pity will weaken transitioning into go-mode again.

So I list, and once I find my joy, I cling to it.

On occasion my oldest, who's 5, has been asking me to cuddle with him, he use to want to sleep in our bed at the start of every school year.  Unknowingly I thought that it was because he missed me going back to work, he too could feel the crispness, the turning, the sense of "sighs."

Now, I realize my little-man didn't need me, God designed him because I needed to find joy.  God gave me the biggest gift I could have asked for (next to transforming me and my husband into Christians).  He gave me a son, who at a very young age, knows how to care.

Tonight when he asked me to cuddle him, minutes after prayers (naturally I am already tucked in my blanket with a book) I tell him I will be in in one minute, never have regretted spending time with him/

I climb the ladder to his creaky loft bed.  Oh, why did we buy a loft bed?  As I am climbing I tell him I am getting to big for his bed and don't want to break it.  He responds with "would you like an animal, here's a blanket, you aren't too big, you are perfect."

I take the big monkey (technically it was mine from years, decades, ago) and pull the blanket up around my shoulders.  We are finding peace in the midst of our chaos. I can feel his breaths slow as I know it won't take long for him to be asleep.  I smell the children's toothpaste, thankful that he brushed. I kiss his sweet forehead.  The same head that use to carry a huge red angel kiss birth mark.  The same forehead that holds incredible thoughts and dreams.

A sweet little voice simply says "Thank you."
"Thank you for what?" I ask.
"For kissing me."
"I will always kiss you."
"Even when I am older?"
"Yes, you won't be able to stop me."
"I can't wait for you to visit me in my house when I am older."
"Yes, our visits will be grand.  I love that you dream and think about your future, but don't grow up too fast."
"Why not?"
"I like you just as you are, my son, my five year old."
"Mommy, I will always be your son."
"I will always be your mommy."

With that he takes his perpetually sticky hands and holds my face. "Thank for cuddling with me." Then kisses my forehead.

No my dearest child,  THANK YOU.  Thank you for asking me to cuddle.  Thank you for reminding me that I am needed and loved.  Thank you for being joy.

PS - totally read her book.  It's good. =]

I tried - to control too much [August.... and September Goals]

As you may know, I am a teacher.  And with that comes certain responsibilities; like I have to enjoy summer.  It's a rule, I'm sure it's in my contract... right?

Well, summer was great! Yet, I am still looking forward to the job I love. As I speak about these events, it is as if it is over.  But... IT'S NOT!  I still have two weeks before I go back to work.  OKay, I have two weeks before students start filling my classroom, slowly becoming my own kiddos.

Here's the deal.  As much I have tried to post regularly about my goals each month, and also revisiting how I did the previous month - well, that's probably not going to happen at the start of the school year.

I can only control so much.  My life can not be constantly filled with schedules and to-do's.

My reflection on July... it was not restful.  Was it enjoyable?  Yes.  But I still did not find my rhythm that I was so looking for.  I didn't find my tribe you could say.  We were able to see a lot of our favorite people, went to several weddings and events, went on a trip as a family.  Had family stay with us for a week - life was jammed back... and NOT with rest.

I eagerly look forward to August for that reason.  Look forward to finding a good pace, a healthy stride for our family to tackle the first semester.

Yes, I have already tried to excel a schedule for my family.
Yes, I have already looked at our budget and what school supplies I want to buy my kiddos (students).
Yes, I am still thinking of goals and challenges to make myself better.

But something will always take priority while something else will slip away.  I don't want that. So here are my not-goals, but my life.

Goals set me up for failure - but, living life, well I can be successful at that. 

August Life:
Health - I am happy to report that I have lost and kept off about 10-15 pounds this summer (HUGE DEAL!) and I am going to keep doing what I am doing.  Sensible eating, focusing on eating clean healthy non-processed foods.   I am going to continue to find ways to challenge myself physically, including doing this as much as I can throughout the week.

(attempting to do longer plank, more push ups and might change lunges to leg lifts)

Book - I did read/finish Messy Grace for the month of July and about 1/2 way through Hoot.  Although I did not read both for July, I am about to go on another trip and should be able to knock out Hoot rather quickly.   For August my book is going to be The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick. It looks rather interesting and hopefully a page-turner.  For those days going back to work.... I am tired when I get home.    While we are talking about books I will add, for those who are curious, that I will be reading and leading an online group through Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. This will take about 6 weeks and will find another book to read for September too! 

Scripture - although I am slacking at memorizing all of these, it's been great to be digging into the Word to find exactly what I am looking for.
Psalm 150:6
Colossians 3:12
Matthew 6:34
Isaiah 56:1
Proverbs 31:30

My wonderful husband also bought me the She Reads Truth Bible!  It weighs more than a new born baby, but that weight is because it's filled with knowledge and beauty.   My goal is to do their studies for Titus, Philmon and Hebrews and for September work on Proverbs.

Fall is my favorite.
I welcome you.
Giving up control.

I tried - being mentorable {open letter to my future mentor}

Dear Future Mentor,

Thank you.  I have needed you for some time.  I needed you without even knowing it was you, or the idea of a mentor.  I needed  you more than I realized.

See, I feel as if I am in a weird spot in the church.  I don't feel like I belong.  I did not grow up in the church that we are going to, so my roots are more shallow than others. I did not attend the Christian college, as my husband and friends did, feeling as I orbit their social circle. I have a "worldly" job... I mean ministry... ahh, whatever teaching is these days, which does not allow a lot of time to do do "mom" things or minister to others.  It's weird for I have a loving mom and great friends, but I am missing...

missing you.

I need guidance spiritually.
I need wisdom that challenges me.
I need patience, strength, calm, investment.
I need cared for.

I need you.

As I currently write you, my family is going through a season of transition. A time of reflection and re-centering our lives back to God's plan.  A time of waiting to see what is in store.  Prior to this season I had directly asked several (4) women to be my mentors, and asked handful of other women to just hang out - but it always falls through.  Some of these women graciously turned me down with positive answers.  Some didn't really have the time, respectively.

But I truly, prayerfully plead for someone to reach my hand and say "it is I that will get coffee with you! Listen. Talk. Pray. Check-in. Invest."   Okay, you don't have to talk like that.  I promise.

Mentoring is an odd topic to talk about in the church.  Sometimes it happens organically, very natural.  Other times it is forced.  I pray that whomever gets paired with me, it is a relationship that happens naturally, God driven.

See, I am a mess.  To my peers, it might appear that I am put together.  Got all the answers.  Life is grand.  But, I am human.  Just as my blog title states, I am trying.  Honestly, I don't know what I am doing from day to day.  Grasping at straws.

I know once this season of transition changes, there might be more time and opportunity for investment.

A  few weeks ago I was talking to an older lady about my parents helping take care of my children as we were at a conference she said "at least you have your parents, we always lived so far from family."    I just wanted to respond with, "but you had the church.  You had people come to you and watch your kiddos to give you a break.  Bring you a meal.  Pray with you.  Call you to see how you were. Being a mother is hard.  Working in a church is hard."   But I just acknowledged the truth that I am thankful that we are currently close living to my family.

A year ago I had a friend talk about how she doesn't have many deep relationships or mentors and how she wishes her mom lived closer.  Yet, in the same conversation I could count on two hands the older women in her life.  ASKING to babysit her new baby.  ASKING to clean her house or offer help.  ASKING  her over for coffee and conversation.  Yet it appeared that she is oblivious to all the good she had.
J
Future mentor, or can I call you friend.  I am a bit bitter.  I don't want to be.  I ask God to help soften my heart.  To give me courage to ask the right women to be apart of my life. But as a horse chases a carrot on the stick, I am always just a tad short.

So future mentor, future church.  Thank you.

Thank you for loving me, the messy me.  The real me.  The speaks before she thinks me.
Thank you for loving my family.  Challenging us to be humble kingdom workers.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to acknowledge that I exist.

That's all that is takes.
Letting people know that they are important.

I do my best to be intentional with my friends.  But having someone who has gone before me, to hold my hand through prayer, tears, excitement and opportunities is who I am looking for. (holding my hand can be figuratively - don't want to make anyone, myself included, uncomfortable).

If you are an older woman, regardless of age, who are you investing in?  The generation younger than  you?  The new mom?  A student? A babysitter?

Dear future mentor.
I needed you.
I wait for you.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate God's timing of you.

With love,
Megan

Freebie Find: 100 Questions and mentor conversation topics - to make this mentoring thing easier on all of us.  =] 

I tried - March {April Goals}

Dear March,
You were good to me.  Lots of reasons to celebrate (most birthdays in a month).  Including my sister's new baby girl! *squeals* We had Spring Break, a time to relax and reconnect with family - much needed.  Fresh air filtering through the screen door as I listen to my sons play freely in dirt and new grass. Peaceful.  As quickly as you storm in, you roll out in a different storm.  And you always welcome your friend April.  Thank you March.  Until we meet again.  You were good.

I didn't even have time to write a pre-March challenge.   So here is what I accomplished:
Book - I read and enjoyed The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.  You can read about it here.   I also took notes and skimmed over a book about how to read your Bible better; you can find those thoughts here.
Health - I didn't do well, but I didn't do horrible.  I kept running but I was not successful this month with tracking my food or my workout events.  Here's to "just be healthy"
Scripture Memorization - I (attempted) to memorize Matthew 15:18, Philippians 2:3, Matthew 25:25-26, Proverbs 10:17 and Isaiah 41:10.  I also, along with my husband and two friends sat down one evening and we read the entire book of Romans.
Challenges - The challenge I chose, and completed for March,  will be revealed at a later date for it is something that deserves it's own entire post.

Do you ever have those moments that the puzzle is just done. complete. finished and you have no idea how you got to that point, but it feels great.  My April puzzle is complete.  Here are some of the pieces that started to point towards the completion of what April is shaping up for me.

* My favorite quote since high school (maybe prior) see below

* Last Sunday our church started a sermon series called "Overload"

* Had planned, months ago, to read Jen Hatmaker's book "Seven" - first introduced by a friend 3 years ago. 

* Recently watched the documentary Minimalism that several friends raved over months ago.

* In preparation to move (now we are not) we had started a collection of things for a garage sale and will be participating in a City Wide sale. 

* Pinterest board from months ago had April as the "Waste Less" month
* My interest in the Tiny home movement.
* Easter - a major time of reflection.

"Simplicity is the Ultimate form of sophistication." -DaVinci

April shaped up to be a month of scaling back, losing the excess, finding peace in the simple things, joy.  Spring is typically the time that people do their "Spring Cleaning" - all of the above small pieces were just a way for me to realize that it's more than my house that needs spring cleaning; but my body, mind, and heart do as well.  A month to purge. 

Book - As I mentioned before I have been interested in the book "Seven" by Jen Hatmaker for a few years.  I purchased it over Christmas break in anticipation to read it sometime in 2017.  Perfect timing.  Although it's not April yet, I have already started reading it - let's just say this - she's hilarious.  [Purge - media and hopefully will read more books]

Health - April 1st will be a big day - running my first 15k.  Although I have ran a half marathon, this will be challenging for I have not been able to train as much as I would like.  I had some encouraging ladies remind me that it's okay to walk and just have fun.   A few weeks later I will have another 5k and would love to see my time improve.  I WILL (not going to try, but DO) the above daily challenge as well as the same amount of burpees as is the date.  So, April 7th I will do 7 burpees.  I will also be completing whole30 simultaneously tracking food and water intake. I might even participate in Jen's first chapter about Seven Foods....... [Purge fat and negative self image]

Scripture Memorization - I have the following pieces of scripture to work on memorizing and more importantly applying to my life: Proverbs 1:7, 1 Peter 2: 1 - 3, John 8: 31 - 32, and Luke 10: 41 - 42.  The cool 'God' story about these scriptures, they have been listed in my Bible for several weeks, but they all seem to fit the need to focus on Jesus and his teaching - true priorities.  [Purge the world]

Challenge - I am going to be keeping the same challenge that I have been working on this past March. I look forward to updating everyone about the observations I have been honored to witness from doing this very easy task in my life.  I am also going to do something, that I just learned about tonight, called "listening prayer."  If you would like to know more about what it is, please ask. [Purge doubt; in others too]

I tried - reading Women of the Word:How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds [Book Review]

Hey look, I did it!  I read 2 books in one month.  Technically, if you want to call the Book of Romans a book on it's own, than I have read 3 books in one month.  *This never happens*

Okay, I hate lies.

I can't really say I truly read the book Women of the Word.  I read the first few chapters and then started to skim.  Here's why.... in one of my groups we had a lady speak about how to study your Bible and she referenced (and gave credit) to this book.  I just couldn't face spending time on something that I have already taken notes over.

Women of the Word:How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds written by Jen Wilkin is an incredibly short book, to the point, helpful but not shameful. Jen is truly passionate about helping women understand the word better.

I also found this PDF for anyone who would like to do a more in depth study over Jen's book.

Like I mentioned, I took notes from a wonderful mentor, who prior to the session, encouraged us to read the book.  Here is the google doc on my notes.

Some highlights from the document:

5 P’s to studying the Bible:
Purpose - meta narrative, keep in mind the overarching story of the Bible.

Perspective - archaeologist dig into the word - who wrote it? Who was it written for? What genre? What is happening in the world at the time? When did it take place? What was it written?

Patients - don’t give up when you don’t understand, enjoy the process and know that no man will fully understand the beauty of His Word. This will take time.  Slowly form a habit so when you slip up you start up again.

Process - as you are reading and process information ask yourself these three questions 1) what does it say/comprehension? 2) what does it mean/interpretation? 3) how should it change me/application?

Prayer - you can’t be successful in studying your Bible if you don’t read.  Practice makes permanent.

I tried - letting my kid watch Disney {Beauty and The Beast}

My wonderful husband, Jeremiah, sent me an article about the new 2017 Beauty and the Beast.  It was titled: Disney Movies' First Ever 'Exclusively Gay Moment' in New 'Beauty and the Beast'

Oh awesome, I enjoy reading articles.  He sent the article to me because our oldest, who is turning 5 soon, wants to take one of his best girl friends to the movies and out to eat.  A date. 

Yes, I am encouraging my son to take his friend on a date.  Because if I don't teach him how to be a gentleman at a young age (while he's impressionable) than what am I teaching him?
Not to mention, his mom, Emily (one of my best friends) and I want to see the movie too, so we can conveniently chaperon the event.

Once I looked at the article on my phone I quickly went to my dear friend, Google.  There were several news article with similar head lines.  

The first thing that caught my attention was the word "moment." What's a moment?  Seriously.  Can a moment be 10 seconds.  So are we not talking about a full fledged gay-sex-scene?  Is this 'moment' something that only adults would understand as more than a moment?     You know, Disney with their sneaky subtle innuendos. Was this announcement of a gay moment just another way to spark public's interest or concern?

I started texting Jeremiah and Emily about it.  Should we still take our kids to this?

My husband and I's conversation went something along the lines of: this is our world, we don't want to shelter Gideon but educate him with a Christian foundation - meaning, if he does catch this 'moment' that we can have an open dialogue about gay people and how we are still meant to love them.  Gideon would say, "because we love people" and "we do good to all people."   Jeremiah actually believes that Gideon will be more scared of the Beast and not catch anything else.

We decided that our son could still go.

A little later Emily started talking about the article and her first response was "this is the world we live in." as I was typing something similar about helping our younger ones understand the world without being drowned in the world.  She talked about how their family has watched the classic cartoon version numerous times.

She decided that her daughter can still go.

In Emily and I's conversation I mentioned how every movie has something "wrong" with it.  People were upset about Zootopia at one point; complaining that it was racist.  She then brought up all the other negative attitudes and characters within the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast.

I started to look more into Disney movies and at what age is it appropriate for young children to be exposed to the variety of issues that Disney challenges.  Below are some crude and maybe slightly exaggerated examples:

and 

When we think of movies though, they can be a teaching tool.  Any form of media can be a teaching tool.   I am almost positive we were more successful potty training Gideon because of Daniel Tiger's episode with the catchy potty tune. Mother Goose was a political satire - just leave that right here.

Growing up I didn't not watch many Disney movies or really any movies.  I have never asked my parents why. This year my Dad  took their 4 and 3 year old grandson's to go see Star Wars - full of violence and all sorts of other scenes.  So either they changed, or we just didn't watch movies.

I was not a princess girl.  Although I did adore Belle and remember seeing the Lion King for the first time.  I don't remember ever trying to live their life.  I was never in a fantasy world. Could I be a different person if I watched more Disney (or any movies) as a child?  We only know.

Here's my bottom thought: as a parent you have to know your boundaries and your child's mental and emotional ability. We have always carried out open and honest conversations with Gideon (at an appropriate age level).  I can't protect him from everything, we live in a broken world.  But I can help guide him through rough obstacles and thoughts.

I remember being in junior high and asked my dad about a Stephen King R-rated movie.  His response was something along the lines, "You have read the book, your imagination is much more dangerous than that of a movie you will see."

If Gideon gets scared in the New Beauty and the Beast, it will be an opportunity to talk about attitude, contentment, loving people regardless of their outward appearance.  It might also bring questions about the gay couple or other deeper issues.  I will pray that I will have the right words to help guide his curiosity where he can have a better understanding, without being hurt.

I wore a red-X on my hand the other day.  February 23, 2017.   Gideon asked what it was for.  He understands that there are people living on the streets, that there are people hurting.  He now knows what a slave is.  But he does not need to know what sex is, he's five.  Just like that red-X, this movie will be an opportunity for Gideon to learn about others so he can love them better.

This is the world we live in.  Disney is being culturally relevant.

Do you have a certain age that kids can watch certain movies?

February 2017 {January book review}

January has come and gone.  What a month   it was for our family.   We had lots of moments of reflection and opportunity.

As far as my goals went for January:

Book: Understanding the Bible in 30 Days by Max Anders; it was a good book.  However I treated it more like cliff notes and not an actual book.  Each day/chapter (30 of them) there was an introduction to the concept/topic.  A lot of times they were stories or analogies.  Slowly I stopped reading them and  went to the "meat" of the chapter looking at the Bible part.   It did help me understanding the types of books in the Bible.  It helped me understand the history of the Bible as well as give me a better idea of popular topics and scripture to support those concepts.   I think if you were new to wanting to read the Bible it would be a great resource, but for me, it was not my favorite.

Health: 30 day challenge and whole 30.   Neither of these goals were met.   I didn't even run that much; which is good for my soul too.   I had some good days in both departments and I had some bad days.

Scripture Memorization:  I am writing them on a note card to hang in my bathroom, a note card to leave in my van, and then reading several times out of my Bible as well as putting it in our kitchen on the chalkboard.   I am doing pretty good.  Sometimes can't remember all the previous ones.  I would like to get better at helping our oldest to them with me.  I think he is capable.

Challenges: to stick to it, inspire, and encourage.  Well, I did some of those, but not to the fullest potential.   Will get better.

February 2017

Freshness is in the air.  The days are getting longer (praise him) and the month is short and filled with dates full of love and opportunities to encourage other people!

Book: During Christmas last year a sweet co-worker posted on facebook that she wanted to pass on a book; "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow.  I told her I was interested in it.  The next day it was in my mail box at school with a sweet note.  Although I don't tend to one filled with anxiety I think it will help address issues so I can better serve those who do have anxiety issues.  Look forward to reading it.

Health: Jeremiah and I are going to do whole 30 to the best of our abilities.  We both have conferences on weekends (where food is provided); so we will do our best under those situations.    My goal is to also make this a lifestyle change and not just a monthly fad.   It takes 60+ days to form a habit, so I would like to carry this into March as well.   I have several running races coming up and would like to increase my speed.    I am also on a relay team and need to train for a 10 or 12k!    Tonight I plan on taking the kids to the gym as well.  Starting out the month right.  If I am not able to run or go to the gym I would like to stick with some sort of challenge (see below) or quick work out at home.

Scripture Memorization:  Psalm 62: 1-2, James 1:22, Ephesians 4:29, and James 1:19.  As I am picking these some are given to me, some are ones that I have picked for a while, and some are found as popular ones to memorize.    Slowly over time I am challenging myself to memorizing more than a few verses.

Challenges:  I would  like to write a card or letter every day this month.  It's the month of love and I would like to share that with peple.   I was gifted with words and would like to share encouragement with those around me.  I also want to be more focused in my prayer.

Another month to a better me!

How are your goals going?  Any topics you want me to write about?  Any books you think I should read?

----> {2017} <----

Another year has come and gone.  

Seriously, where have you gone?

I want to be a better me.

A better:

Christian me

Healthy me

Wife me

Mom me

Friend me

Daughter me

Financial me

Writer me

Reader me

Hobby me

A better 2017 me.

I just want to be better at being me.  My only competition is me.  I am not competing with facebook friends or the amount of 'likes' I can get.  I am not competing with pinterest people. I am not a huge "new years" resolution person, for I believe you can always change - the month doesn't determine your desire to become someone better than you were the day before.    

This year I am trying to get in mind that as long as I am moving forward, I am making progress.    I have lot of habits I want to form and some habits I want to break or recreate into something better.
When you google "how long does it take to form a habit" this pops up:

Recent research led by a team at the University College London think they have uncovered just how long (o average) it takes for something to become habitual.  They do not think it takes 21 days to form a habit.  They believe it takes an average of 66 days to create a habit.  

Sixty six days!  Two months?!?  I want to keep this in mind.  I know myself well enough to realize that being realistic is my game.  I'm not a "dream big" person. I expect to fail, and that's okay.  It's part of the journey.  So when it comes to me making goals or new years resolutions, I want something that is tangible, as well as something that if not achieved will keep me motivated.

December 31, 2017  

I  am being flooded with excitement just thinking about where I will be in 365+ days from now.   Oh the excitement, the changes and transitions.  The arguments, mourning, joy and glee.  The praises, the songs, the moments of silence.  Oh - what is going to happen in the next coming months and  weeks?!?!  Where will be at the end of the year?  What are our new dreams and goals? Is Soren potty trained?   How does Gideon like school?  Do they share a room and love it?  Who lived with us this year?  Were we more generous than we have been before?  Good stewards of our money?  Good stewards of our time?  Did social media finally find it's rightful place; the bottom of the totem pole of priorities?  How has God blessed us this year, even when we didn't deserve it?   What times of sadness did we have to over come together?

So many questions.  

In a year, we will have the answers.
I understand some things are out of my control.  'Tis life.
I understand some things need to be out of my control.

As a teacher, there is a style of writing lessons plans called "backward planning" where you start with your end result or goal and work to your starting point.   I am going to apply that methodology for my year.

For a lot of my year goals will only be achieved by my daily activities.  The in the moment yes and no; the journey of choosing. 

These goals, resolutions, whatever you want  to call them, are woven together so beautifully, sewn together like one of my Grandma's hand quilted blankets.  They go together.  My physical will effect my personal as will my relational will effect my mental and so forth.

Physically - I would like to feel healthier and not struggle with my self-image.   Ideally I would like to weigh 140 pounds (less than 3 pounds a month), have a 5k race time of less than 32 minutes (10 minute pace), and set or do other physical activities like, get a bike and use frequently, run another half, set personal records in lifting, obstacle race, etc.

Spiritually - I want to be closer to our amazing creator.  It's hard for me to put a number or deadline on this growth.  I would like to read my Bible more/better.   I would like to finally (never had before) memorize scripture and have Gideon help me with that.  I just want to have my heart in check.

Relational - I would like to be more of an encouragement for others and strength and grow new relationships.   I hope that through my other endeavor my relationships with my husband and kids will improve as a natural by product of my efforts.

Financially - I would like be more generous in our time, treasure and talents.  I crunch numbers frequently, and God always provides, but this year I would like to make sure to be purposeful of my resources and be stewards with what we were provided.

(Challenge Sheet)

The above is a picture of my Challenge Sheet.  At the top I have "Priorities, Projects and Prayers" the main things I would like to focus on for the month.   Priorities could be of any focus or challenges like not eating out for the month.  Projects can be what book I am reading for the month, crafts, the monthly photo album, etc.  Prayers can of any nature or need or a time frame.  

The middle part of the challenge sheet I have weeks. Here I will post the scripture I would like to focus on for the week  and any other benchmark goals that might help with the monthly challenges.

The bottom of the  challenge sheet is where I will post daily challenges.  These challenges will be achieved at an 80% rate.  Reading my bible daily really means 5 out of 7 days.  No one is perfect.   Daily challenges include, drinking a gallon of water, no sugar, a variety of fitness challenges, purging/organizational challenges, writing cards, tracking food/points, limiting social media, etc.

BONUS

If you want to follow my 2017 pinterest board, go here. I don't get on pinterest as much as I use to.  But it is a good way to collect and share ideas and links.

For those of you still reading here are some challenges I am going to hopefully have our family do, as well as links and ideas to help you.

I am going to encourage Gideon to put pennies in a jar corresponding to the number of days into the year that we are.  At the end of the year I would like to find an organization, of Gideon's choice to donate the money to.  

I would also like to have a praise jar - so we can look back and remember all of the positive awesome events in our life, a memory jar if you wish

I found some monthly challenges with different themes.  Some of the days are easy - smile at more people - for example.  But something fun!

I have not decided what weekly scripture I will be doing, I like to be inspired or reflect on something for the week.  Again, I would like to include my family in on this, so some might be "kid" friendly.  

The following two links are PDF's of weekly scripture.  Click here for a list.  Click here for another option that is more kid friendly.

You can find another list here. 

It's going to be a great year!