Friday, October 9, 2015

I tried - being a working mom {an open letter to working moms}

Dear Working Moms,

You are doing great! (Hopefully by the time you finish reading this you get tired of hearing how terrific and great you are.)

To my fellow moms who wake up before the sun just to get the day started before tiny bodies start to wiggle out of their peaceful rest and you then shortly drive off while the sun rises to take tiny yawning face to daycare or preschool or grandmas sometimes eating breakfast in the car; five times a week.
To my fellow moms who go to work every day for multiple hours (sometimes in grueling environments) without hearing from their pint size children.
To my fellow working moms who work outside of the home, away from their babies, for 45 hours a week - sometimes spending more time with other people than their own children - missing MOPS or PAT outings, missing birthday parties and celebrations, missing trips to the zoo or fun "breakfast dates" to the park.

{Working moms you are the unsung heroes to today's families}

You are doing great superMOM!

1. Mommy guilt - you are doing great because you have learned how to cope and manage mommy quilt.  Sometimes the only way to handle these feelings is through prayer, tears, chocolate, and when time allows snuggles with those sweet babies that call you mom.  Mommy guilt is an emotion that not all females experience, but it pulls on your heart strings in ways you can't describe and sometimes leaves you feeling and questioning everything that you are doing.  Just remember, YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Don't give up.

2. Selfishness - you are doing great because you have to take care of yourself too.  Typically, as moms, you tend to put everyone else's needs before your own including people at your jobs.  But you are doing great because you have learned that you need time for you.  Don't let mommy guilt seep in.  Hit the gym or the donut shop.  Go out with friends, even if you want to be home by 9 so you can go to bed "early" for once (even though we all know you will be up until 11 working while babies sleep).   Just remember that you have to make time for yourself because if mommy isn't happy, nobody is happy.

3. Let it go - you are doing great, so let it go.    Let go of all the negative comments.  Let go of all the guilt.  Let go of all the pride.  Let go of everything that holds you back.  No one is perfect, so let it go.   You can not change people and their comments, but you can change and control how you react to them.  Don't argue with your child what to wear - let it go.  Don't worry about having cereal for dinner - let it go.  Don't worry about your project having a spit up stain on it - let it go.   Life is too short to try to be perfect.  Life is too short to follow Pinterest expectations.  

4. Enjoy your kids! - You are doing great because you love your kids.  But STOP. Don't just love your kids but enjoy them.   As you learn to let things go enjoyment will start to be more present.  Let the dishes go and spend 5 more minutes babbling with your baby.  Working moms work off of schedules, schedule special time for your children.  Whatever time you can etch into your full schedule for your kids will reward you beyond words.  Remember - you are doing great, treasure those special times.   Your job will always be there, but your children grow and change.

5. Your job - you are doing great as a mom because you like your job, and that's okay.  Don't be embarrassed or ashamed that you like your job.  It is true that some moms have to work.  But some moms want to work ---> AND THATS OKAY! <---  It's okay to admit that you want to work.  It's okay to share with others your struggles and truths with your job.  You are doing great for you are working for your family.

6. Cry - Sometimes, as a working mom, you feel so busy and isolated that the only thing you want to do is cry.  SO.  CRY.  Seriously, give it a good healthy cry.  Sometimes, as a working mom, you are so filled with love when you pick up your child after a long day of work and they tell you they missed you.  Cry with joy!  Sometimes you walk into your laundry room, and you just want to barrier yourself under all those clothes and just have a good healthy cry.  Sometimes, while at work, you get a call about a family member needing something, and you can't leave at that EXACT moment - cry. Great people cry too.

7. How, just how, do you do it? - You are a great mom for you somehow, and sometimes without understanding, get it all done. You not only work full time, but you work at home too!  You are doing great for you are doing your best.  Being a stay at home mom has a list of different challenges, but seriously, a working mom faces all of the same battles with dishes, laundry, weight loss, meal planning, library hour, grocery shopping, paying bills/paper work, doctor appointments, family events, soccer practice, a fraction of the time.  You SOMEHOW get all the same things done in a matter of hours instead of days, all while trying to spend time with your children.  So you rock working mom! YOU ROCK!

8. There is tired... then there is working mom tired - you are a great mom because even on your worst days, you still do your best to fight through the sleepiness and exhaustion.   There is college student tired, there is teenager tired, there is adult tired, there is parent tired, THEN THERE IS WORKING MOM TIRED.  You can't miss work no matter how late you were up with dishes or baby.  And while at work you can't sit with a cup of coffee and just do nothing.  You can't nap at work - you barely have time to rest.  You have to get up in the morning and not wear yoga pants and look semi-professional.  You are great mom, you've got this!

So, working moms, when you have that down day and you question everything you are doing.  When you feel like all of your friends have the easy life while you miss out all of the fun.  When you are so tired that you think coffee is a food group.  When you just sit down to fold laundry and cry yourself to sleep.  When your preschooler tells their teacher they want to be like you, or your profession.  For those days that are rough and for those days filled with joy just remember....


Your children see all of your hard work and although they might not be able to verbalize it now, one day, they will appreciate all that you do for them.

A working mom

~ PLEASE NOTE ~ 1) Single moms are the ninjas of supermoms.  I wouldn't last in their shoes.  2) I have several friends who are stay at home moms, you are a great mom too.  This was strictly to empathize with other working moms and maybe bring a smile to their faces. 3) working/single dads are important too! Love those great dads.