Saturday, June 10, 2017

I tried - reading Present Over Perfect [May's book review]

Summer - we are in full swing of long nights, grilling with friends, park dates, fresh produce, and bug bites!  But we love our summer.  With summer also comes a different pace; main reason for my May book review a weekish late.

May's book was going to be the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis - honestly, I didn't read it.  I was struggling getting into it.  I am not for sure if it was the season I mentally was in (finishing up teaching, planning my husband's graduation party, transitions) or what.  But it wasn't pulling me deep into it's pages.

At the end of May, Jeremiah got the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist 

This was a wonderful book to read right before summer.  Shauna is an older version of me. Like I am pretty sure we are related somehow. Hopefully that's not an insult to her.  Seriously, she loves cooking and gathering around the table, being intentional with making sure to feed people.  Her place to recharge is by a river, or a small simplistic house but yet she's drawn deeply to live in a bustling city.  She is not perfect by social media's standards when it comes to size - but absolutely gorgeous she is!  She has two boys (yes, I understand that) her husband is a worship leader (check). She obviously enjoys writing - girl, we are sisters!

I am so thankful to have read her book, for I can see myself living another 10 years doing everything wrong.  Okay, everything wrong is a bit extreme.   But I can give myself grace!
Her book is written with a short-essay style.  The chapters, very brief, were her stories and they filled my heart.

Shortly into her book I felt myself nodding along with her thinking "me too" or laughing with her for something I can see myself doing.  I was relating to her as she kept saying she was the responsible one, therefore she kept taking on more and more and more.  

It made me reflect on a conference I recently went to back in April where we discussed spinning plates - and at some point, something will give and break. 

She stated on page 102 "This is actually my life, and it doesn't matter one bit if it would be lovely for someone else to live.  What does matter; does it feel congruent with how God made me and called me?" 

That hit home hard.  

I have the ability to remake myself.  Look again at where and who God is calling me to be.  I do not have to always feel like I should meet everyone's expectations - except God's (and his is really the only one that matters).

This summer, as my boys tug on my shirt to get another 'dink' (drink) or want to hit one more ball in the yard, I am going to pause and practice being present.  For as I searching for my calling or pray for my families next move - I can be present.   There will always be dishes, laundry, media, things that can eat up our times.  

Chores are not my calling.
Tasks are not valued.
The choice to love is my calling. 
People are valued.

I am going to remake myself through pauses.  

I am going to practice being present.  
I am going to love
and let my soul be free.  

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

That Father of Mine #behindtheblogger

That Father of Mine

Remember that time that I hugged a stranger thinking it was you, that father of mine.
Remember that time that I accidentally burned your father's day gift and you got a jar of ashes, that father of mine.
Remember that time that you wrote me a three page letter of why I will always be your baby girl, that father of mine.
Remember that time that we traveled 16 hours to sort through family problems -just you and me, that father of mine.
Remember that time, well timeS, that we argued for I am stubborn, but you always loved me, that father of mine.
Remember that time you taught me to shoot a gun, go fishing, clean a rabbit, drive a tractor and a standard, throw a ball, read a book, THAT father of mine.
Remember the time that you walked me down the aisle, only years later to sit and hold me when my heart was broken, that FATHER of mine.
Remember the time that we would spend mowing the church yard, or the post office, or your dad's yard - teaching me responsibility and spending precious time with me, that father OF mine.
Remember that time that I yelled at you, so angry at life, that father of MINE.
Remember that time that I wanted to tell I love you, for you are THAT FATHER OF MINE.

You are a man of few words, but great understanding.  I love more than anything watching you teach my boys about what it means to be a man.

~*~Happy Fathers Day~*~

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