Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts

Thursday, March 3, 2022

I am....

 I am... well... I am an 8 and I am angry.  

Current tunes, believe it or not, "Bella's Lullaby" 

This weekend I attended a Christian Women's Retreat/Event. And here's what pisses me off (and if that word offends you, might as well stop reading and saddle on up to ride on out). 

1) Not a single person, other than myself, that I am aware of prayed for Ukraine. My mind was just shocked. I kept waiting for someone to bring it up. Maybe it was spoken in small groups. Maybe I nodded off or slipped out to that bathroom at those moments. But seriously. Totally in shock. 

2) A "leader" stated (for the second time) how BUSY I am and how difficult it is to have community and that we hope to have community when we return. Here's why I am not okay with that... that person had no right to speak about my life when they are not currently speaking life into me. Twice they used that word "busy" as if they know me... in reality they don't have the slightest idea. 

In fact. I am not too busy for people. I make time, or attempt to make time, for the people who want to make OUR relationship a priority. 

So, if you are reading this, I am not too busy for you.  We have a saying in our home: 
"not late, not early, just welcome" and I stay true to those words. Whether it's taking a phone call during my boy's judo practice, or going to waffle house across town at midnight, even the dreaded waking up early to go shopping. =] I am there. 

As an 8 we don't carry much emotion. We are passionate, loyal and angry. I am tough on the inside, but totally a softy for my people.

I am angry. I am me. 

Before I leave, just wanted to pray for Ukraine: 
God, you know the outcome of this war, and the bigger war that we are facing. A broken world, filled with more heart ache than I can handle. God, I ask you to protect the moms giving life in bomb shelters. I pray for teenagers that are becoming adults as they pick up a weapon. I pray for children, that you might be able to bring peace, just for a moment. God, they are in good hands. Thank you for creating us just the way we are meant to be. 

God, thanks for creating me to be angry and passionate. Although my heart breaks, I am thankful for the few who can see the cracks and have stuck by to mend me together. 

PS - I wish I was normal sometimes. 



Sunday, June 7, 2020

I tried viewing good cop videos

If you have been on facebook lately you will be experiencing what is called tension. Racial tension. Political tension. Freedom tension. 

There are lots of things flooding social media. Government corruption, systematic oppression, democrat vs republic, left vs right, black lives or all lives. It is a lot to take in. Protest, peaceful turned riot. Peaceful, disturbed by a "force". 

When social media starts saturating my feed with conflicting views, I start asking more questions. 

Lately the thing that has been plaguing my mind is why the need to share good cop videos or pictures like: 
photo credit: https://images.app.goo.gl/w26iJeuSM9mvYpPg8

Why are we celebrating something that should be given? You celebrate surprises and miracles and accomplishments. Celebrating good cops... well, is that a miracle or an accomplishment? Or is that them doing what they are supposed to do, their job? 

Do doctors have videos every time they make the correct diagnoses? It's worth celebrating. 
Do teacher get a shout out for every kid that makes a light bulb discovery? It's also worth celebrating.

Doesn't the world just become better from people doing good? Shouldn't these cops be good on and off the camera? It's almost like a participation trophy... or is that just me?

There are good people who don't wear a uniform who do the same things; sit with people, play with kids, help each other.  Because good people make the world a better place.

Are we trying too hard to cover up the fact that we need to change a deep rooted corrupted system?

I am not condoning those who are starting riots and targeting cops. Please do not hear that I am in favor of violence. I am just questioning the motives and the push. By posting so many good cop videos and pictures, to me, is covering up and siding with the injustice of the matter. Hiding the truth.

I am thankful for good cops and systems that strive for justice. I am not trying to condemn those who want to share joy and happiness, I too, like to see the good nature of people. BUT in the moment, with the tension, is this the proper time to celebrate? 

Romans 12:9-21 is my absolute favorite. Just going to leave that right there. 

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Covid Logic - Apology Letter


Watch this video, please.  It's Pink and Ellen <3

It's almost a year old, but it really spoke to me.  Is it odd to say that a day time talk show spoke to me. But it did.

I feet like Pink - wanting to fight injustice (not just now, but pretty much always).  I couldn't agree more with Pink - there is a kind way to correct people and educate people!

Honestly, I am tired of Covid complainers. Now, you might be thinking... wow, who's calling someone a complainer when you just wrote a whole blog post about all the crazy in your life.  I do believe there is a difference between sharing worry and concerns and just wanting to complain. I think the difference between the two is the end result. Someone who worries or is concern is looking for answers and wants to be part of the solution. A complainer, could care less and typically adds to the problem. <------ all my opinion.

**Covid Logic From No One Special.... that's me**
One of my biggest triggers recently is the people sharing misinformation, or misinterpreting data.  As a math teacher, you can shift numbers and graphs to make them tell "your side" of the story and it drives me crazy when people do that (I also don't like lying, and misguiding someone feels like a lie).

People who don't think this is a big deal because there are more deaths by _______________ .
People who don't think this is a big deal because they have had _____________________ already.
People who don't think this is a big deal because _______________________ tells them it's not.
People who don't think this is a big deal because the death rate is only _________________ .

Here's the deal. There are lots of sides to this crisis. But, in the end, do you want to be part of the problem or part of the solution.

Even if there was 1% of deaths. Is that not enough to break your heart? Look at your neighborhood. Let's say on average 4 people live in a home. In your neighborhood, every 25th house has a dead person in it.

Average joe logic - yeah, staying at home is working!

People complain that the virus is only effecting a fraction of the population.

Average joe logic - yeah, staying at home is working!

Here's my personal logic. No data or numbers... just me thinking.

If we don't take shelter/lock down seriously, more people will contract the virus. As more people contract the virus more people will die. Why? Because hospitals only have so much space. Doctors and nurses only have so much time to serve. Equipment can only help so many.

When I last checked the US lost 14,000 of the 427,000 cases... which is roughly a 97% survival.... that's still 14,000 funerals.  JUST IN THE UNITED STATES. That's 14,000 families hurting and grieving. That's 14,000 people who can no longer provide or care for their family.

I understand that a lot of people die from car accidents, cancer, or abortion. Those deaths are also heart breaking. And yes, this (quarantine) sucks...and it's hard and it's frustrating and it's scary at times. But, I don't know about you.... I want to be part of the solution, not the problem.

This isn't political. This is about people. Stay home.

** Quick Apology Letter **
In the video I liked how Pink said she goes in on people to fight justice, when she has time. I keep seeing post from people about covid that are not helpful or hopeful in any light. I want to go in on them.  But I am learning not to.

I apologize if, in my moment to educate, I have not been kind. Typically my 'style of education' is not for you to believe 'my side' but for you to see the world through a different perspective. To understand that sometimes no one is right.

I am sorry if you have been hurt, not my intentions. I love talking to people, not just to challenge them, but to be challenged myself, so if you are ever wanting to strike up a conversation, don't hesitate to ask.

You are loved!

Thursday, February 13, 2020

Suicide, Why... (a poem and other random thoughts about censorship)

There is a lot going on around my head. A couple of topics that keep popping up, and they are requesting my attention to then be processed. They are: Superbowl, censorship, suicide.

Yes. Somehow in my brain these three topics are connected and are coming up regularly in many formats. Here is the timeline of events.

*I have been thinking about the act of suicide a lot lately (since October), not for me, but in memory of the ones I or others have lost. Thinking in circles. Tears filling my eyes. Prayers in my soul.

*Mid-January I started my graduate program; in short I can be a Librarian. My studies though have the emphasis on building bridges with the Hispanic community. This program has already opened up many conversations and sparked several thoughts about diversity, humanity and culture. It's rather quiet beautiful and I am enjoying myself.

*A couple weeks ago the Superbowl happened. The chiefs one (woot woot) - but the half time show brought a lot of attention among the circles I associate with. I don't know if you know this, but dancing in very little clothing can be controversial. I agreed with much of what was said, both sides of the conversation too. Teaching in a classroom, where half of my students are Hispanic, I enjoyed the cultural aspect of the halftime SHOW. Being a mom, I can also see how there were moments that maybe little eyes shouldn't see. Which is my right as a parent to censor what my children see and consume (they were playing outside... one got bit by a mouse... like, for real).

*This week in my graduate program we are working through ideas about banned books and censorship. For one of the assignments we have to pick a book from 10 popular banned books. One of them was 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I have not read the book, but it reminded me about the Netflix show that I watched years ago. I posted (2.5 years ago!) about the show.

And now - we are back to suicide.
Maybe to you they aren't connected. That's fine. Thanks to the First Amendment, we have the freedom to read and write that of our choosing.


(Quote by: Laurie Halse Anderson)


Here's a poem I wrote a few weeks ago:

"Suicide, why?"

Suicide, why?

Why did you take
     My friends dad when we were kids?

Why did you take
     My friends grandpa?

Why did you take
     My friends father in law,
          and later
     Her brother?

Why did you take
     My former teacher?

Why? Just, Why?

Why did you take
      My student, my kiddo?

and in the same week

Why did you take
     My husband's uncle?

Suicide, why?

Why did you take
     My friend?

Suicide.
      Why?
          ?



To those that I miss deeply.
This year I wanted to Bloom and be a better person.
I want to do it for you.


***** if you are in need of help, please click here ******

Friday, November 3, 2017

I tried - friendship

Dear Friendship

Now I lay you down to rest,
For honestly, I have given it my best.

I am tired and weak from all that you have done.
We had a good race, maybe one of the longest.
But you have moved on, to pursue others, and honest
I am not surprised at what is coming.

Goodbyes are never easy.
They break and crack ones heart.
I will and have always been here for you.
But now it's just too hard.

Excuses are what I have heard;
A different season and time too short.
Excuses are what I hear
For your actions speak louder than words.

Goodbyes are not for ever,
But we face them now together.

My dearest friendship,
I love you deeply and hate to see you go.
The moment has come for me to say.
Goodbye.

Love,
an old friend

Thursday, August 24, 2017

I tried - fighting {Who are you fighting for}

A little bit about me - for vulnerability opens hearts of others.

I am loyal to a fault,
and stubborn.
Favor the underdog.
Going against the norm, is my norm.
I ask tough questions,
making people mad and uncomfortable.
Believe in justice on all levels.
I am a white, working mom.
My heart is elastic.
I love quickly, deeply and hard.
When I am hurt, I rationalize the situation to pieces.
Over thinking is my hurdle.
If you hurt others, I hurt for you.
I do not believe in the death penalty.
I do not believe in war or harming others.
I do believe that love will win.
More times than not I feel very alone in this world.
Holding on to Joshua 1:9.
Taking care of others is my passion.
If I am not careful, my words are sharper than arrows.
One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 12: 9 - 21 (and many more).
My dad thought I was going to be a lawyer, I am a fighter. 
Now, I am a teacher. 


Earlier this week I got into one of those fun "word wars" on facebook feeds.  With a family member.  A lot of hurtful words were thrown my way, including the twisting of what I said; topics that were not even being debated were brought up - low easy blows - from a person who doesn't know my story.

I finally, said my peace and stopped responding.  Other people have since made comments; the carrot is in front me, waiting for me to nibble.  I have, on occasion, even typed up a response - pausing and deleting it as God asks me to.

My heart is heavy.  I have learned that if something bothers me long enough, that I need to share; regardless of if anyone agrees with me.  With enough prayer and honesty, I know God will be searching my heart one day; as he will do with others.  It's not my job to soul check others.  Gotta keep me in check.

I can't get over something that was said to me.  "You claim you're a Christian and you're standing up for injustice? No that's what I'm doing, defending president Trump, showing that he was never racist until he ran for president, and defending him from liberals and the media who have nothing better to do but insult him with impunity."  -JM

Who are you fighting for? 

Should our president's actions and words need so much defense?  A person of authority, leadership, great power, constant media coverage - constantly needing defense.  I don't need memes or youtube videos to hear the words that come from his mouth or see the "tweets" he post.

Later, this same word war, it was stated in my direction that if liberals weren't so closed minded and would see the truth and just listen for once that we wouldn't miss it.  *heavy sigh*  little do we know about each other.  Bubble living.

Who are you fighting for?

If you are asking someone to look for truth, but then do not welcome their comments, thoughts, insight, personal beliefs.... are you walking the walk or just talking the talk?

I was in tears over this conversation.
Angry tears.
Hurtful tears.
Mourning for their soul tears.

These people that I care about, and yes the strangers on this feed, are missing it.  

Who are you fighting for?

As you fight for the president....
Who's fighting for
the poor?
the oppressed?
the refugee?
the orphan?
the sick?
the homeless? 
the gay?
the widow?
the porn addict?
the prostitute?
the neighbor?
the least of these? 

(Matthew 25:40)

As I look back at these last few days, I have to remember that I am not here to fight for the President who has dug his own pits. The only way I will fight for him is through prayer.  

But I am hear to fight the good fight.  At least that is what I am trying.


Sunday, July 16, 2017

I tried - teaching math {our society, and it's math inability}

It feels great to be blogging again!  Thanks for reading my friends!  [edit - and it's a longer read - with a call to action and solutions... enjoy.]

A few nights ago my family and friends all visited the drive-in movies... you know, where you sit in, or around, your car and watch a movie, or two, outside.  Yes, outside!  During one of the movies - I believe Captain Underpants (don't judge, it was really adorable) a student shared how they failed a class. It was math.

My husband looked at me, and before I could say anything, he stole the words out of my mouth, "it's always math!"

See, I have this theory, that our society is creating a culture that accepts math as the impossible subject.  That math is only for those with magnificent brain power.  A society that instructs its pupils that math is pointless.

Honestly, next time a movie or tv show starts talking about school see which subject is being addressed. I am pretty confident that if the student/actor mentions failing or struggling in a class, it's math.  I am also fairly positive that if a kid is "blowing off" homework as if it's not a big deal, that the homework was for his or her math class.

*sigh*

It breaks my heart every time! Our culture is creating a double standard.  As a teacher....as a MATH teacher, it's frustrating.  I am asked to help my students understand content that is not respected or expected to be learned by society.  Our culture wants me to teach mathematical concepts in the classroom, to students, who will later go out into society where they are told that what I taught them is pointless and it is acceptable to not understand the concept either.  And this is what I make the big bucks for (insert eye roll for dramatic effect).


Seriously, who uses math anyway?  Last year I was teaching some very basic algebra concepts to my advanced/accelerated class.  One very vocal young man interrupted, as he often did, and just asked "when will we ever use this?"  Any time a student asks that question I respond with "what do you want to do when you are older?" so I can then answer by giving an example that is related to their career or job.  This advanced, very bright student, told myself and the class he wanted to be an engineer - but yet, he thought basic algebra was pointless and a waste of his time.  Believe me, other students stared at him with a puzzled look more than I did.

Oh mercy.

Our society does a poor job of respecting math.  I work with a math teacher that says "you can't read a math book if you can't read" .... although very true, not going to argue there, this same thought process is why math is often over looked and under studied. I am not a strong reader or writer.  I am sure my husband and English teachers are frowning as they read this little article of mine gasping at every common error. However, I am getting my point across. Not miscalculating medicine for a patient or anything important.  But the moment that we, a society, place one content slightly higher above another is the exact moment that shadows and depths will be created.


Students are struggling in math for the time, energy and resources are not spent on it.  Back when I was in college I wrote a paper over math anxiety.  How female students are more inclined to develop the belief that she is not "good" at math.  This belief is often a reflection of her relationship with her mother and/or female elementary teacher that also view math as a "man's game."  You can read my paper here, if interested.    Another fascinating blog about girls being 'bad at math' can be found here.  Props to this author.

Again, our society is creating a culture that not only places math of a lower importance, but also oppressing young girls to believe that they are not capable at learning math.

**Little side note, if you are a woman, or a parent of a girl, please watch Hidden Figures.  These WOmen were NASA's calculators...before calculators were a thing.**


Before I started writing this blog, I went to google to see what I could find about math in movies and society.  Instead, I found a New York Times article "Why Do Americans Stink at Math" by Elizabeth Green.  It's a rather lengthy article, a few years old, but had some wonderful ideas and even strategies I want to see take place in my classroom next year.  If you have time, I suggest you read this article.

As I was reading, I couldn't help but have comments, some snarky, some preachy, some prayerful, some praises.

Math has always been a hot topicin the education world.  Clearly our film industry believes that it's the most difficult of subjects.  Elizabeth Green writes, "In fact, efforts to introduce a better way of teaching math stretches back to the 1800s.  The story is the same every time: a big, excited push, followed by mass confusion and then a return to conventional practices."

She later states, "The trouble always starts when teachers are told to put innovative ideas into practice without much guidance on how to do it." (can I get an amen here!?)

I have parents who say that math has changed so they can't help their student.  But it hasn't. Numbers are still numbers.  The challenge is still a challenge.  And Americans have stunk at math, and for some time.  In Green's article she shared a story from around the 1980's when A&W started to market a 1/3 pound hamburger to off set McDonald's quarterpounder. The marketing team states that customers thought it was a better product, but also thought they were being charged too much and therefore not buying it.  When in fact, the price of the 1/3 A&W hamburger was cheaper than the quarterpounder.  Customers did not understand factions.



I believe there are solutions.  We will need a change of mind and attitude in order to see a change in our culture through empowerment of our people.  

Some of these solutions I am going to present are my personal opinion.  I have not taught as long as some.  I have not taught in other content or other grade levels outside of 7th grade math. I have not done any significant research, this is all from personal observation. So, if this doesn't settle well with you, it might mean I need more information.  Okay, proceed.

Solution 1:
Empower elementary teachers. Make elementary teachers proficient in math.  If a first grade PE teacher had to go to school to learn physical education, and all of it's methods and strategies I believe that every grade should have a math teacher.  Someone who is strong in their content and is capable of helping other teachers who do not feel as if math is their strength.

As I continued to read about why Elizabeth thought Americans stink at math, I read: "'Remember,' Lampert says, 'American teacher are only a subset of Americans.' As graduates of American schools, they are no more likely to display numeracy than the rest of us. "I'm just not a math person," Lampert says her education students would say with an apologetic shrug."  At this point in the article, I just want to cup my face and weep.  I remember being in educational courses hearing that elementary teachers wanted to teach elementary classes because the math was too difficult, intimidating, or impossible.  Really, the same math that you had to take in school, now as a professional, is too much for you to handle?  When I graduated there were around 75 elementary teachers graduating.  There were 4 middle school math teachers.


Solution 2:
Empower all teachers. Give teachers adequate time to not only learn but to implement and teach appropriate math.  Elizabeth states, "With the Common Core, teacher are once more being asked to unlearn an old approach and learn an entirely new one, essentially on their own.  Training is still weak and infrequent, and principals - who are no more skilled at math than their teachers - remain unprepared to offer support."  This isn't about common core, an entirely different article about how common core are standards.... however, what she is saying is that we are asked to go to a conference for a few days and then the moment we step back into our classrooms start teaching an entirely different way.  Same content, different methods.  Common core, rigor and relevance, quad-D are all fancy jargon that is being replaced by the very popular STEM and STEAM projects. YET math has not changed.  (her statement about principals, oh so true, my principal reminds me that he taught history for a reason).

Elizabeth continues to write,"There, as in Japan, teacher teach for 600 or fewer hours each school year, leaving them ample time to prepare, revise and learn.  By contrast, American teacher spend nearly 1,100 hours with little feedback."  Just going to let that set in.  And for those who are struggling, American teachers are spending more time teaching, but with worse results.  Reread that paragraph, please.

If you want me to be a better teacher give me the time to learn these methods and implement them.

Solution 3:
Empower students' time. Students, unless they have a true deficit and possibly IEP, should get the same amount of time for math content as it does for art and every other subject.  One content should not receive more time than the other.  When a school, or classroom, establishes different time frames for different curriculum, eventually students subconsciously believe that one content or curriculum is more important than the other.  


Solution 4:
Empower words, methods, rituals, strategies, terminology and procedures.  I believe in differentiation. As a teacher, when I see a student struggling I do my best to find a method that "clicks" or sticks with that student.  However, I teach math.  But when we start using fun little butterflies to help a student learn how to add fractions, the student gets lost in the antennas. "The answer-getting strategies may serve them well for a class period of practice problems, but after a week, they forget. And students often can't figure out how to apply the strategy for a particular problem to new problems." I couldn't have said it better Miss Green.

I would like for a main stream, common idea of how to do math, common terminology.  Teach the foundation and save the fun little methods to help with differentiation.  Teach students how to think to solve instead of solving on how to think. If a student has something to focus on, other than which of the 12 methods to use, they might be be able to learn math.

My biggest frustration is even in mathematical symbols.  Students spend half of their education learning that X or x means to multiple.  Then, all of a sudden, when we introduce algebra we ask them to relearn several years of education.  'X' is no longer a symbol for multiplication, but is now a variable.   Oh, and by the way, parentheses can mean multiplication too, you know that fancy distribution.

Seriously, why can't we teach multiplication with the *  or the dot?  Why am I having to reprogram my students' mind ON TOP of teaching them new algebraic concepts?


Solution 5:
Empower parents. My favorite thing about parent teacher conferences is when I am given the opportunity to remind parents that they are able to do math and therefore are able to help their child with math. As a society we don't have to no longer tolerate the reason of "I'm bad at math, so my kid is bath at math" type statements.   Even if the wonderful Hollywood would start empowering parents and their families that math is something other cultures are capable of doing, so be default, Americans can too.

Solution 6:
Empower the curriculum.  This is a stretch, and would take an overall in the education.  Greens article discusses how children in Brazil that help their families by selling peanuts and coconuts could routinely solve complex problems in their head to total a bill or make change.  However, when the same students were presented the same type of problem on paper with pen, they stumbled.

Math IS real world.

This is a tricky solution.  I love my job.  I really do enjoy teaching pre-algebra to middle school students.  However, the day that I had a student exclaim that their homework was similar to their parents' college work, was the day I started to realize that maybe we are doing this all wrong?

Studies have proven that brains develop at different rates.  And that algebraic reasoning is a skill that requires certain brain development.  So, if your brain is not ready for the concept I am about to teach, you are going to think you are not capable, regardless of how much you try.

If we would just wait for students' brains to develop, we might be able to teach concepts that they are truly ready for, saving lots of time (and tears...for everyone). Slow down the standards in math so more students are more proficient.

Math can be real life.  Lets bring math back into classes with cooking, constructing, even budgeting or buying car insurance and loans as many students will face after high school.  Math seems to be unrealistic to many students, but it's all how we empower the curriculum. I mean why do students need to have all of this math, when they learn the same martial in college?  Yes, some students will not go to college, so shouldn't we equip them with math that they will be using daily?  I would rather see a class in high school talking about how to count change back then see more students spending time in classes that they don't value or even compute.

Just as Elizabeth stated in her article, people do math regularly for their jobs, in fact those same adults who failed classes can often be more efficient in their jobs for they have learned the math that is suited to their career.  

(I just put this there for a smile)

Leave me a comment if you made it this far.  Seriously, I feel like it should be like a kickstarter, where you get a prize or something for reading all of this.  I started out wanting to write about math and movies, and this is where I got.

Our society, education, parents, teachers, students, and even movies all need to stop picking on math.  It's really not that bad.

"Odds-defying individual teacher can be found in every state, but the overall picture is of a profession struggling to make the best of an impossible hand." - Green


Bonus:
Links to movies you should watch....
http://mashupmath.com/blog/2017/4/16/10-best-math-movies-for-middle-school-students
https://reelrundown.com/movies/Top-Ten-Teacher-Movies-of-all-Time
http://www.math.harvard.edu/~knill/mathmovies/

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

{an open letter to Betsy, Senators, unions, and parents} I tried - Teaching

Dear Betsy,

Hi there, my name is Megan.  You don't know me, nor will you ever, more than likely. The reason you will never know me is because I am a public school teacher, I work in a public school in case you were wondering.  Our paths won't cross because I don't have the salary you have.  Our paths don't cross because I went to a university, using scholarships, pell grants/FASFA, and loans to be a teacher.  See, my career is ABOUT teacher "things"

Here's a list of the things us teachers know:

NWEA
MAP
RTI for classes
RTI for personal students
IEP (including ADD vs ADHD vs BD)
504
PBS (not the television station)
BIP
PIP
SLO
QUAD D
IDEAS
EPI pen
watch this video, every year, again and again.  Safety.
Common Core or standards or objective or curriculum
DATA and more DATA and more DATA and more DaTa

The above, well that's the fun part, all of those are the "hoops" we teachers jump through.  That's not what I teach.

I teach 7th grade math.  However, in my "free" time I have the "privilege" and "honor" to do some hoop jumping.  Fill out one form or the other. Look at data for one student or another. Email this upset parent, or another.  Check attendance - 7 times.  Enter grades 140 times a day. Breathe.

I teach math.  I try to teach math, while trying to build up students who are hungry, cold, homeless, abused in every way possible.   I try to teach numbers that are relevant like bills and banking.  I try to teach compassion and love - we are ALL people.

I tried teaching.  But it seems that year after year, I am trusted less in teaching and entrusted more with paper work to prove that I am teaching.  Trust me - I am a professional, I went to school for this.  I ENJOY teaching MATH.  I enjoy being around my 7th grade students and watching them learn. Please, as the Secretary of Education - PLEASE LET ME TEACH.  

But, Betsy, now I am worried.

I do the above paper work to prove to someone that I am a highly qualified teacher.  I have watched your hearings and speeches, and I am not for sure if you are highly qualified to be over so many teachers, principals, organizations, schools and funding.

Here's why I am worried.  My husband is a college student, we raise two boys off of a small teacher's salary and his part time job.  We are very blessed, please don't think that I am money hungry (I wouldn't be a teacher if I wanted more money), but there are times that I question how we even make it.

So, when I hear about you giving money, thousands and thousands of dollars to senators to secure their vote. My heart breaks.  

From my calculations, the money you gave could have paid at least 21 teacher salaries.  Now, they would be probably first year teachers, not the highest salary of the bunch.   But still,  If I continue with my calculations and each teacher has 140 students that is 2,940 students who could have been helped, taught, loved on, encouraged.   But instead, politicians' pockets are getting deeper.

It's an outrage.

Our education system is an outrage.  It's a problem.  

Betsy - it was reported that teacher unions also contributed money to politicians.   I do know that the unions are there to help protect teachers, and that might include giving money to lobby for people in office to vote in a manner that will protect educators and the system.  But politicians' pockets are getting deeper. 

Betsy - I don't know if you have ever seen "The Lottery" a 2010 documentary (on netflix) that follows around 4 New York kiddos on the journey to winning a lottery into a charter school, it's a good little viewing and I would encourage you to watch it.  Charter schools are supposed to have funding of their own, so please, when you suggest taking federal money from public schools to give to a group that already has their own funding - I am confused.   But teachers' pockets are getting shallower.  (Parents - if you are curious about the differences of schools, please go here:  Yes, it's a parenting site, but it does offer quick information on what type of schools there are.)

Betsy - our public education is broken.  Please be the piece that  helps put it back together.  I am begging.  I tried to teach.  I am worried.  I am worried financially for my family.  I worry financially for our country.   "American's Invisible Children" is another documentary also available on netflix about the homeless issue in America.   I know we have veterans that are homeless, but can you imagine not having a home, being hungry, and trying to learn.  It's hard - incredibly hard. Our schools are sometimes the warmest place a student has to shelter from the elements.  Our schools are sometimes the only place a child will get a meal.  Betsy, what are your plan for these children.  Are YOUR pockets getting deeper?

Betsy - So, with whatever you end up doing.  Please educate yourself about schools being accountable, where funding is used, what standards are, what's a healthy school and what's not.  Why some types of schools work and others don't (depending on the area) and how to help children in poverty.  

Betsy - I, as a teacher need you. Students, as our future need you.  Schools, regardless of level or type, need you.  Please, oh we beg for this to go well.

Betsy -  I pray that something good will come out of all of this.  I pray that your deep pockets open up and maybe you can buy $2.00 lunches for the students who go hungry daily.  I pray that your heart will see the children not as homeless numbers but as potential creative minds who have SURVIVED being homeless.  I pray that you look at abuse victims' test scores and understand and have compassion that they might not be scoring that of a non-victim; but yet the school they attend is held accountable.   I pray that our broken system, that I so desperately love, will be fixed.

Betsy - I have to be highly qualified.  Are you?


Sincerely,
A teacher who's trying

PS - Senators - how dare you take money.  Seriously.  I'm ashamed and sadden.  

PS - Parents - a plea for help.  Support your teachers.  Encourage them.  We have long days and more often than not, we see your child for more 'awake' hours than you. We really are doing our best. Just like you are doing your best to parent; let's be a team.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

I tried - the non-American


So, guess what?  
Today is Super Bowl.  




Not to be confused with Soup for Dinner in a Bowl.  No.

I haven't seen a second of the super bowl.   Like none.

I would like to state that I like football.   But not crazy about the teams playing.

It "helps" that yesterday our oldest decided to become a huge monster in a little body and threw the remote on the floor, which shattered, after I asked him to turn the TV off for dinner.  Which, he turned the TV off, got up and walked with the remote and threw it on the floor.

Oh Brother.

The night proceeded to get worse; for him.  For me.  For our neighborhood, I'm sure.  Tears, prayers, angry words - from both of us.

Any way, although it was not my best parenting moment.  We no longer are able to turn channels on our TV or anything.  Which, its stuck on PBS 24 hour kid programming - so that's nice.

We were invited to some parties but thought it would be best if we didn't attend with our little guys.

What did we do?

My husband grilled steaks.
The boys played in the backyard.
I ran  to the store to grab a few veggies and fruit (we are running out of them more quickly with this two adults eating healthy bit).
The boys played.
Gideon sorted papers/cleaned his office.
We played catch with a football in the living room.
During prayer  we prayed for those who will be hurting tonight from bad choices (sex trafficking).

No super bowl.

Sorry America. Not today.

So, here's my post about the super bowl.

Did you know that it's the biggest event for sex-trafficking.  When I first heard this, I couldn't believe it.  Our country?  Our sport? Our friends and family?  What!??!  But yes, it's apparently a HUGE problem for the city hosting the super bowl.  They hire more people, investigators, trained staff to help locate and serve justice to those being treated as modern day slaves.



I have shared facebook post/articles about the issue, but then when I decided to link articles to my blog and do my own research I realized two things.
1) the above issue might be false
2) even  if it is false, isn't it better to get the exposure about modern slaves.



Even IF the foozeball game day isn't as big of a contributor to sex trafficking as initially thought; the problem does STILL exists.

I would encourage you to check out these sites:
End it movement  - in a few days, on February 23, they have their annual "end it" day, to help with awareness.
Black Box International - This organization focuses on boys and helping them to have a full recovery from sex-tracking in the Dominican Republic.
Rapha House - Rapha Houses, although serves any body in need of restoration, does focus on girls in other countries.
End Slavery Now - This website's name says it all - end slavery now - they are talking about the different types of slavery but does include sex-trafficking.
Polaris Project - CLICK ON ME to see a map.  This isn't happening in other countries, but happing in our towns and cities.  This site also has a link to recognizing the signs. 



Sex trafficking is real.
It's a real problem.
So, my question to you - are you part of the problem or part of the solution?  

~~~***~~~
I have been updating weekly about all of my challenges for a better me, a better 2017.  So here we go:

Book - I've only read one chapter, there are about 17 more....
Scripture - Be doers of the word, not hearers only, deceiving yourself.  - James 1:22
Cards - I have written 5 cards so far and today is the 5th.
Health - haven't had bread/carbs or sugar or much dairy at all.  Ran a 5k on Saturday and did 'eh.  Wasn't my best time by far.  But also not my worse.  Training distance for a team marathon relay in May.  Going to go to the gym more this week.

Let me know what to write about - I find my life boring.  

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

I tried - not getting involved (Politics)

Okay, did I really try not getting involved.  Probably not. I like to challenge/compete with people. Read this summer's post to get a taste.

However, politics would frequently cross my mind.
Doing dishes, crossed my mind
Praying with my children, crossed my mind
Watching a comedy, crossed my mind
Reading, crossed my mind
Talking to friends, crossed my mind
Running on the trail, crossed my mind
Sweeping, crossed
Folding laundry....

As a person who likes to write; I have a voice, and I wanted to share my thoughts.

But then, not just the topics, but the questions WHAT do I write and HOW do I write this post kept popping in my head.
Do I talk/write to Christians?
Do I talk/write (and apologize) to non-Christians?
Do I talk/write to the topics?
Do I talk/write not wanting to crush toes?
Do I talk/write with every force of nature I can muster?

I decided, it would be best (for me) to write from my heart.

A few statements before we dive into this post:
I am writing this to all parties, all beliefs, all people.
I am writing this out of a place of love.
I am writing this from my knowledge, experiences and insight (which can be small at times).
I am writing this hoping to not stir up debates or upset people but to share my voice.
I am writing this with the idea that maybe something I say can spark your  own curiosity to do your own research.
I am writing this knowing that I am not perfect at anything.
I am writing this knowing that someone challenged me a long time ago and set my intellect into motion.
I am writing this knowing that I have lots to learn, from others.
I am writing this for me, so my head can stop swirling around politics and I can refocus on what truly matters.

Where to begin.

**** Heavy sigh ***


I have been reading several blogs, articles, commentaries, and even my peers own personal thoughts the last several weeks.    There are times that I agree, smile and share.  There are times that I post questions hoping to shine light on both sides of the story.  There are times that I read my Christian friends comments and cringe.  There are times that I read my non-Christian friends comments and sing praise.

Let me get one thing out there.  I am not voting. What a relief to share that.
I. Am. Not. Voting.

Honestly, I have never voted in my life.  Before, when I was younger, I didn't vote because I did not care.  I didn't vote because I was lazy.  I didn't vote because I saw no purpose in it.  As I got older, some of those excuses transformed into supported reasons.

Now, here's the condition to me not voting.  I also don't complain.  I tend to be of the nature that can see the glass as just half.  That's it.  It's half.  Why does it have to be half full or half empty.  Why can't we be content with just half.  I like to see multiple points of views on topics.  I like to have my mind challenged to ignite growth.  I like to hear people discuss ideas, not each other.    So, even though I don't vote, I don't complain - for no matter who is in office, there is no perfect world.  There will always be positives and negatives to every thing.  EVERY. THING.    The government is just half.  Just like I see good in both main candidates; I also see some room for growth.

Some people reading this might be thinking "You are the problem.  Megan, you are part of the problem.  You my dear, are non-american.  How disrespectful are you?!?"  Whatever you may be thinking, if you truly have a question about why I don't vote, please ask, I am not afraid to share.

Am I not American?  No, I am.  I was born here.  I work here.  I pay taxes here. Do I say the pledge - nope, I use that brief moment to pray for my day, my students, and my country.  I pledge allegiance to my God, HIS kingdom.  For this world is not my home.

Am I really that disrespectful? How do I not support such a great country, How DARE me?   Nothing I do is hurting anyone.  Well, some feelings might be hurt by my boldness in my statements.  But I can only pray that the hurt people feel can be reflected and mediated on, allowing for God to present Himself.   I still respect my authorities.  I pay my taxes, abide by the law of the lands, and love people.

Am I really part of the problem?  Do we even know what the PROBLEM really is?    If I am the biggest problem that anyone has, I would honestly say, that is probably a success.


To me, the problem is not in the government.  
The problem starts from the church.  
It's you.  
It's me.   

Even typing that, I felt a little worried about the feedback I am going to get from this post.  But, I need to say it.  
That's right.  WE the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect.........perfect what....we live in a broken world, and WE are the problem.

I catch myself occasionally asking my 4.5 year old "are you part of the problem or part of the solution?"   And here we are, a young country, that has lots to learn.  We had some major growth spurts and some obvious set backs in maturity.  But compared to the world, America, we are still babies - we must walk before we can run, if not, stumbling will occur.

When you post on social media, are you part of the problem or are you part of the solution?

Problem: Abortion.   Solution: Love people.
Problem: Foster Care.  Solution: Love people.
Problem: Death penalty.  Solution: Love people.
Problem: Drugs.   Solution: Love people.
Problem: Marriage license.  Solution: Love people
Problem: Boarder, extremist groups, terror.   Solution: Love people.
Problem: Violence towards cops.  Solution: Love people.
Problem: Violence towards blacks.  Solution: Love people.
Problem: Education funds.  Solution: Love people.
Problem: Healthcare cost.  Solution: Love people.
Problem: Unemployment. Solution: Love people.

I challenge you to read Romans 13.   You can find it here, and even change it to a translation that best suites you.  This chapter has helped my husband develop his own personal thoughts and opinions on the election, but also have been a pivotal piece in my own mindset.

We, the church, to form a more perfect union, his kingdom on earth, his will be done.....

We are to love Hillary Clinton, for she is the daughter of the king.
We are to love Donald Trump, for he is a son of a king.
We are to love the unborn babies.
We are to love the murders.
We are to love the multi-cultures
We are to love the drug addicts
We are to love the gays
We are to love the blacks
We are to love the whites
We are to love the cops
We are to love the teachers
We are to love the students
We are to love each other.

If you are not a Christian, you don't have to full-fill the law by loving people.
But I sure hope, if you are not a Christian, you have been filled by a Christian's love.

How are you loving people?  I challenge your mind set, your heart, your belief.  Dig into His word, ask tough questions.  What truly matters?

***

So, I tried not getting involved with politics; I will do my best for this to be the last post, comment, or even rhetoric response.   If you want to talk to me; please let's get coffee, or e-mail/message me.

For now - the next two weeks - I will pray.

And in case you don't know.  You are loved.

Friday, October 9, 2015

I tried - being a working mom {an open letter to working moms}

Dear Working Moms,

You are doing great! (Hopefully by the time you finish reading this you get tired of hearing how terrific and great you are.)

To my fellow moms who wake up before the sun just to get the day started before tiny bodies start to wiggle out of their peaceful rest and you then shortly drive off while the sun rises to take tiny yawning face to daycare or preschool or grandmas sometimes eating breakfast in the car; five times a week.
To my fellow moms who go to work every day for multiple hours (sometimes in grueling environments) without hearing from their pint size children.
To my fellow working moms who work outside of the home, away from their babies, for 45 hours a week - sometimes spending more time with other people than their own children - missing MOPS or PAT outings, missing birthday parties and celebrations, missing trips to the zoo or fun "breakfast dates" to the park.



{Working moms you are the unsung heroes to today's families}


You are doing great superMOM!

1. Mommy guilt - you are doing great because you have learned how to cope and manage mommy quilt.  Sometimes the only way to handle these feelings is through prayer, tears, chocolate, and when time allows snuggles with those sweet babies that call you mom.  Mommy guilt is an emotion that not all females experience, but it pulls on your heart strings in ways you can't describe and sometimes leaves you feeling and questioning everything that you are doing.  Just remember, YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Don't give up.

2. Selfishness - you are doing great because you have to take care of yourself too.  Typically, as moms, you tend to put everyone else's needs before your own including people at your jobs.  But you are doing great because you have learned that you need time for you.  Don't let mommy guilt seep in.  Hit the gym or the donut shop.  Go out with friends, even if you want to be home by 9 so you can go to bed "early" for once (even though we all know you will be up until 11 working while babies sleep).   Just remember that you have to make time for yourself because if mommy isn't happy, nobody is happy.

3. Let it go - you are doing great, so let it go.    Let go of all the negative comments.  Let go of all the guilt.  Let go of all the pride.  Let go of everything that holds you back.  No one is perfect, so let it go.   You can not change people and their comments, but you can change and control how you react to them.  Don't argue with your child what to wear - let it go.  Don't worry about having cereal for dinner - let it go.  Don't worry about your project having a spit up stain on it - let it go.   Life is too short to try to be perfect.  Life is too short to follow Pinterest expectations.  



4. Enjoy your kids! - You are doing great because you love your kids.  But STOP. Don't just love your kids but enjoy them.   As you learn to let things go enjoyment will start to be more present.  Let the dishes go and spend 5 more minutes babbling with your baby.  Working moms work off of schedules, schedule special time for your children.  Whatever time you can etch into your full schedule for your kids will reward you beyond words.  Remember - you are doing great, treasure those special times.   Your job will always be there, but your children grow and change.

5. Your job - you are doing great as a mom because you like your job, and that's okay.  Don't be embarrassed or ashamed that you like your job.  It is true that some moms have to work.  But some moms want to work ---> AND THATS OKAY! <---  It's okay to admit that you want to work.  It's okay to share with others your struggles and truths with your job.  You are doing great for you are working for your family.



6. Cry - Sometimes, as a working mom, you feel so busy and isolated that the only thing you want to do is cry.  SO.  CRY.  Seriously, give it a good healthy cry.  Sometimes, as a working mom, you are so filled with love when you pick up your child after a long day of work and they tell you they missed you.  Cry with joy!  Sometimes you walk into your laundry room, and you just want to barrier yourself under all those clothes and just have a good healthy cry.  Sometimes, while at work, you get a call about a family member needing something, and you can't leave at that EXACT moment - cry. Great people cry too.



7. How, just how, do you do it? - You are a great mom for you somehow, and sometimes without understanding, get it all done. You not only work full time, but you work at home too!  You are doing great for you are doing your best.  Being a stay at home mom has a list of different challenges, but seriously, a working mom faces all of the same battles with dishes, laundry, weight loss, meal planning, library hour, grocery shopping, paying bills/paper work, doctor appointments, family events, soccer practice,........in a fraction of the time.  You SOMEHOW get all the same things done in a matter of hours instead of days, all while trying to spend time with your children.  So you rock working mom! YOU ROCK!



8. There is tired... then there is working mom tired - you are a great mom because even on your worst days, you still do your best to fight through the sleepiness and exhaustion.   There is college student tired, there is teenager tired, there is adult tired, there is parent tired, THEN THERE IS WORKING MOM TIRED.  You can't miss work no matter how late you were up with dishes or baby.  And while at work you can't sit with a cup of coffee and just do nothing.  You can't nap at work - you barely have time to rest.  You have to get up in the morning and not wear yoga pants and look semi-professional.  You are great mom, you've got this!



So, working moms, when you have that down day and you question everything you are doing.  When you feel like all of your friends have the easy life while you miss out all of the fun.  When you are so tired that you think coffee is a food group.  When you just sit down to fold laundry and cry yourself to sleep.  When your preschooler tells their teacher they want to be like you, or your profession.  For those days that are rough and for those days filled with joy just remember....

YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!




Your children see all of your hard work and although they might not be able to verbalize it now, one day, they will appreciate all that you do for them.

Sincerely,
A working mom


~ PLEASE NOTE ~ 1) Single moms are the ninjas of supermoms.  I wouldn't last in their shoes.  2) I have several friends who are stay at home moms, you are a great mom too.  This was strictly to empathize with other working moms and maybe bring a smile to their faces. 3) working/single dads are important too! Love those great dads. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

An open letter to parents

I don't stare to judge I stare in awe, in wonder, in curiosity.

Dear Parents, Guardians, Grandparents, Babysitters, Siblings....

I stare because I care. 

In the past, before I had children, I would watch all "types" of parenting being displayed in the public.  I wasn't for sure why or what I was watching, but I would just watch.  It is in my nature to observe and gather information.  And little did I know, I was doing just that, preparing me for a time of parenthood. 

I stare because I care.

I care to know how to do better for my own child.  I stare because I am wondering - does "that" *insert whatever action of discpiline, bribery, love, trick*  really work?  Will "that" work on my child? 

Yes, sometimes I do stare becuase I want to make sure that your child is safe.  As an educator we are also trained to be mandated reporters.  We are there to protect all children, at any given time.  I am not staring to make you feel like less of an adult, less of a parent, less or beneath me in any way.  I truly want to make sure your child is safe and that whatever you are doing is for the greater good of your child's life.

I spank.  Yes.   Is it punishment or discipline?  To those who don't believe in spanking, it's punishment.  They too might stare if I was to spank my child in public. 

I stare because I need to know that I am not alone.   I am not alone in the feeling of "am I doing this right"    I am not alone in the sense of that I can't believe my child just did *insert whatever creative nerve clinching stunt your child probably JUST did*.   

As parents, we are too hard on ourselves.   We live in a day where parenting is always in your face.

Should we do disposables or cloth diapers?
Breast or bottle?
Make or buy your food?
Name brand or no brand clothing?
Ipad at 5 or wait?
Shoes outside, why not?  Or why?
Pop before they are 12?  Juice needs to be watered?
Spanking?  No!
Time out?  No!
No yelling - lourder voices so they can hear.
Crib, cosleep, baby bed, gate, couch, floor?
Carry your child?  Swing your child?
Cry it out?  Pacifier?  Feed all hours? Schedule?

There are too many things to drive a wedge between parents and those who care for children.   We have to remember to look to the commonality in all of this - WE WANT THE BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN.   WE WANT THEM TO GROW UP TO BE BETTER THAN WE WERE. 

So, from a new parent, I want you to know that I am not really staring to make you feel uncomfortable.  I am starring at you, because I am learning from something better than a book written by doctors who don't have children but have done "studies".     And the next time I am caught where someone is glaring me down as I parent - STOP - come talk to me.  Ask me questions about my style.  We need to band together and stop tearing each other apart. 

Just the other day I felt so little dropping my son off for church nursery on Wednesday nights.   I was having him go over our rules with me (it's been all summer since Wednesday night time and needed to remind him" 

I say: rule number 1 we listen       he says "and obey"
I say: rule number 2 be                  he says "gentle"
I say: rule nubmer 3 have a good  he says "attitude"
I say: we do this because we         he says "love people" 

After we finished this another parent dropped thier child off and chuckled and walked off.  It stung a bit.  Are you laughing because you think it's cute?  Laughing because you think it's going to fail?  Laughing because you are covering up your own pain?   It would have been nice to stop and have a mommy conversation about what just went down.    Who knows - maybe she went home and wrote a blog about what she "encountered" at church that night "the most bizzare thing!"  =] 

So parents, we need to bond over having children.  We need to get over OUR differences and truly make this world a better place for our children to grow up in. 

Let's stop staring and do more talking.