I tried - fighting {Who are you fighting for}

A little bit about me - for vulnerability opens hearts of others.

I am loyal to a fault,
and stubborn.
Favor the underdog.
Going against the norm, is my norm.
I ask tough questions,

making people mad and uncomfortable.
Believe in justice on all levels.

I am a white, working mom.
My heart is elastic.
I love quickly, deeply and hard.
When I am hurt, I rationalize the situation to pieces.
Over thinking is my hurdle.
If you hurt others, I hurt for you.
I do not believe in the death penalty.
I do not believe in war or harming others.
I do believe that love will win.
More times than not I feel very alone in this world.
Holding on to Joshua 1:9.
Taking care of others is my passion.
If I am not careful, my words are sharper than arrows.
One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 12: 9 - 21 (and many more).
My dad thought I was going to be a lawyer, I am a fighter. 

Now, I am a teacher. 

Earlier this week I got into one of those fun "word wars" on facebook feeds.  With a family member.  A lot of hurtful words were thrown my way, including the twisting of what I said; topics that were not even being debated were brought up - low easy blows - from a person who doesn't know my story.

I finally, said my peace and stopped responding.  Other people have since made comments; the carrot is in front me, waiting for me to nibble.  I have, on occasion, even typed up a response - pausing and deleting it as God asks me to.

My heart is heavy.  I have learned that if something bothers me long enough, that I need to share; regardless of if anyone agrees with me.  With enough prayer and honesty, I know God will be searching my heart one day; as he will do with others.  It's not my job to soul check others.  Gotta keep me in check.

I can't get over something that was said to me.  "You claim you're a Christian and you're standing up for injustice? No that's what I'm doing, defending president Trump, showing that he was never racist until he ran for president, and defending him from liberals and the media who have nothing better to do but insult him with impunity."  -JM

Who are you fighting for? 

Should our president's actions and words need so much defense?  A person of authority, leadership, great power, constant media coverage - constantly needing defense.  I don't need memes or youtube videos to hear the words that come from his mouth or see the "tweets" he post.

Later, this same word war, it was stated in my direction that if liberals weren't so closed minded and would see the truth and just listen for once that we wouldn't miss it.  *heavy sigh*  little do we know about each other.  Bubble living.

Who are you fighting for?

If you are asking someone to look for truth, but then do not welcome their comments, thoughts, insight, personal beliefs.... are you walking the walk or just talking the talk?

I was in tears over this conversation.
Angry tears.
Hurtful tears.
Mourning for their soul tears.

These people that I care about, and yes the strangers on this feed, are missing it.  

Who are you fighting for?

As you fight for the president....
Who's fighting for

the poor?

the oppressed?

the refugee?

the orphan?

the sick?

the homeless? 

the gay?
the widow?

the porn addict?
the prostitute?

the neighbor?

the least of these? 

(Matthew 25:40)

As I look back at these last few days, I have to remember that I am not here to fight for the President who has dug his own pits. The only way I will fight for him is through prayer.  

But I am hear to fight the good fight.  At least that is what I am trying.

{an open letter to Betsy, Senators, unions, and parents} I tried - Teaching

Dear Betsy,

Hi there, my name is Megan.  You don't know me, nor will you ever, more than likely. The reason you will never know me is because I am a public school teacher, I work in a public school in case you were wondering.  Our paths won't cross because I don't have the salary you have.  Our paths don't cross because I went to a university, using scholarships, pell grants/FASFA, and loans to be a teacher.  See, my career is ABOUT teacher "things"

Here's a list of the things us teachers know:

NWEA
MAP
RTI for classes
RTI for personal students
IEP (including ADD vs ADHD vs BD)
504
PBS (not the television station)
BIP
PIP
SLO
QUAD D
IDEAS
EPI pen
watch this video, every year, again and again.  Safety.
Common Core or standards or objective or curriculum
DATA and more DATA and more DATA and more DaTa

The above, well that's the fun part, all of those are the "hoops" we teachers jump through.  That's not what I teach.

I teach 7th grade math.  However, in my "free" time I have the "privilege" and "honor" to do some hoop jumping.  Fill out one form or the other. Look at data for one student or another. Email this upset parent, or another.  Check attendance - 7 times.  Enter grades 140 times a day. Breathe.

I teach math.  I try to teach math, while trying to build up students who are hungry, cold, homeless, abused in every way possible.   I try to teach numbers that are relevant like bills and banking.  I try to teach compassion and love - we are ALL people.

I tried teaching.  But it seems that year after year, I am trusted less in teaching and entrusted more with paper work to prove that I am teaching.  Trust me - I am a professional, I went to school for this.  I ENJOY teaching MATH.  I enjoy being around my 7th grade students and watching them learn. Please, as the Secretary of Education - PLEASE LET ME TEACH.  

But, Betsy, now I am worried.

I do the above paper work to prove to someone that I am a highly qualified teacher.  I have watched your hearings and speeches, and I am not for sure if you are highly qualified to be over so many teachers, principals, organizations, schools and funding.

Here's why I am worried.  My husband is a college student, we raise two boys off of a small teacher's salary and his part time job.  We are very blessed, please don't think that I am money hungry (I wouldn't be a teacher if I wanted more money), but there are times that I question how we even make it.

So, when I hear about you giving money, thousands and thousands of dollars to senators to secure their vote. My heart breaks.  

From my calculations, the money you gave could have paid at least 21 teacher salaries.  Now, they would be probably first year teachers, not the highest salary of the bunch.   But still,  If I continue with my calculations and each teacher has 140 students that is 2,940 students who could have been helped, taught, loved on, encouraged.   But instead, politicians' pockets are getting deeper.

It's an outrage.

Our education system is an outrage.  It's a problem.  

Betsy - it was reported that teacher unions also contributed money to politicians.   I do know that the unions are there to help protect teachers, and that might include giving money to lobby for people in office to vote in a manner that will protect educators and the system.  But politicians' pockets are getting deeper. 

Betsy - I don't know if you have ever seen "The Lottery" a 2010 documentary (on netflix) that follows around 4 New York kiddos on the journey to winning a lottery into a charter school, it's a good little viewing and I would encourage you to watch it.  Charter schools are supposed to have funding of their own, so please, when you suggest taking federal money from public schools to give to a group that already has their own funding - I am confused.   But teachers' pockets are getting shallower.  (Parents - if you are curious about the differences of schools, please go here:  Yes, it's a parenting site, but it does offer quick information on what type of schools there are.)

Betsy - our public education is broken.  Please be the piece that  helps put it back together.  I am begging.  I tried to teach.  I am worried.  I am worried financially for my family.  I worry financially for our country.   "American's Invisible Children" is another documentary also available on netflix about the homeless issue in America.   I know we have veterans that are homeless, but can you imagine not having a home, being hungry, and trying to learn.  It's hard - incredibly hard. Our schools are sometimes the warmest place a student has to shelter from the elements.  Our schools are sometimes the only place a child will get a meal.  Betsy, what are your plan for these children.  Are YOUR pockets getting deeper?

Betsy - So, with whatever you end up doing.  Please educate yourself about schools being accountable, where funding is used, what standards are, what's a healthy school and what's not.  Why some types of schools work and others don't (depending on the area) and how to help children in poverty.  

Betsy - I, as a teacher need you. Students, as our future need you.  Schools, regardless of level or type, need you.  Please, oh we beg for this to go well.

Betsy -  I pray that something good will come out of all of this.  I pray that your deep pockets open up and maybe you can buy $2.00 lunches for the students who go hungry daily.  I pray that your heart will see the children not as homeless numbers but as potential creative minds who have SURVIVED being homeless.  I pray that you look at abuse victims' test scores and understand and have compassion that they might not be scoring that of a non-victim; but yet the school they attend is held accountable.   I pray that our broken system, that I so desperately love, will be fixed.

Betsy - I have to be highly qualified.  Are you?

Sincerely,
A teacher who's trying

PS - Senators - how dare you take money.  Seriously.  I'm ashamed and sadden.  

PS - Parents - a plea for help.  Support your teachers.  Encourage them.  We have long days and more often than not, we see your child for more 'awake' hours than you. We really are doing our best. Just like you are doing your best to parent; let's be a team.