I tried - not jumping to conclusions [Chapter 3]

I tried not jumping to conclusions.   I have lived for 29 years,  1 month, and 9 days.  In that little of time I have realized that there are two sides to every story.  There is always a reason for people's actions (sometimes not logical or correct, but a motive nonetheless).

Chapter 3 - There's a Lady at the Gym Who Hates Me

First off, as a lady at the gym.   That might me one of the most terrifying places to be.  There are mirrors. And not just the nice kind that you only have to see your face, but BIG mirrors.  Walls  and walls of them.   Mirrors don't lie.  Hmm.... and if you can get past the mirrors, let's talk about the intimidating knobs and leavers.  Pull this, twist that.
I'm not just talking about my body, but I am talking about the machines.   I am not a strong reader, and love quick information (infographics!) so the pictures on how to work machines is right up my alley... until you realize that the pictures are not to your body scale.  I'm 5'2, well below average (in height, duh).  So my joints don't meet the spots the machine wants them to, so those pictures can get pretty complicated at times.   I digress.

The gym.  It's pretty scary.  You go there wanting to make yourself better, or maybe look something like you imagine you "should" be.  Maybe you go there to blow off steam.  Whatever your reason,  it's not an easy or comfortable place for most women.

Lysa opens this chapter with an experience at the gym.  In summary, she felt like because she took a call while on the elliptical, she made another lady upset and hate her.   That was it.  In a matter of minutes, she made an enemy without even knowing her name.

Before I continue, I wanted to address something that jumped off the pages at me.  I am not for sure if they jumped, or leaped, at me because I am currently working on my healthy lifestyle, or that I go to the gym and want to loose weight, but when she talked about herself at a marshmallow, I....paused.

You. A. Marshmallow?  for real?  Girl, no you didn't!?

(Totally makes me chuckle some of the images I get to look at)

Here is what goes through my head within her first page of this chapter.  If you, Lysa, a beautiful, gorgeous, sweet heart and great smile lady think you look like a marshmallow.......WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME?    If she "judges" herself so harshly, when I think she's put together, does she see me as a slob in jeans?   I know that she was wanting to be relatable (I too can see myself as white and fluffy) or was her statement more hurtful, another rejection?

But then as I continued to read, I read on page 29 "I hold them accountable for harsh judgements, they never make.  And I own a rejection from them they never gave me."  Oh, you got me.   I just made a judgement about Lysa, through her writing, and gave myself a rejection that she never gave me.   Geez Megan!  Get it together.

We are not just bad at holding lies over our own heads, but for most, we are not good at taking compliments.   When you compliment a person and they respond with thank you, BUT..... it's like they are rejecting your compliment, swatting it away like a pesky fly.   I am notorious at the thank you, but.... conversations.   Thank you, but I can get faster.  Thank you, but I can loose more.  Thank you, but I might get a hair cut.  Thank you, but.......

A dear friend of mine, when she compliments me, as trained (taught) me to just say, "Thank you."    I am not rejecting their compliment.  I am not hurting myself.  I am not trying to brag.  A simple thank you is socially acceptable and more than likely preferred.    I challenge anyone reading this to take the next compliment you get, without a "but" statement.    Let me know how it goes.

Perception is everything.

What about perception?  As I mentioned, I have slowly learned that there are always two sides to a story.  Because of this, I tend to be incredibly direct, seeking answers, wanting to know, have all the pieces.  I want to know both sides of the story so I can help make a clear decision.  I investigate until my lens (perception) is cleaned.   So, if I know there are two sides of the story, how can we let other's fictional judgements of us, hold some much weight and rejection?  Not to mention we are missing the third part of the story.  He created us and wrote our story for us.

"Live from the abundant place that you are loved, and you won't find yourself begging others for scraps of love." 

Please, reread that again.   Live, every day of your life, knowing that you are loved.  We are worth more than what we are begging others to give us.  Hawk Nelson has a song titled just that; "Live like you are loved"

If you wallow in mud, you will become dirty, true?
If you wallow in hurt and brokenness, you become hurt and broken, true?
If you wallow in love (that sounds like more fun), you will become love, true?

Don't be a slave to your emotions.  Don't be in debt to others via your emotions.  You have been paid by Grace and Love.  You are free!

Our hearts are like cool shaped buckets.  Our buckets have two materials that they can be made of.  We can have a mesh bucket or a steel bucket.  Which do you choose?

The steel.
Jesus is your steel.
Live loved.

Live loved.
Live loved.
Live loved.
Live loved.
Live loved.
Live loved.
Live loved.
Live loved.

It takes the average learner seven times to learn something.  If you counted, I made you read it eight times, just so you don't forget.  <3

Let God love you.  When you are wallowing in that love is when you become love.

(Incase you don't know this, I really love the book of Romans)

We have been talking about giving love.  Or being full of love.  Or living loved.  

But what happens in the absences of love?

Me.  
Four years ago.
That's what happens.  

Like I mentioned in my chapter 2 blog, I had a lengthy list of times/events that were turn downs, let downs and fall downs.    I became a performer.  I became a manipulator.  I became the keeper of my own emotions, love, and heart.  And in the absent, black, cold spot of a heart I continued to wallow in my self doubt and lies and therefore became those lies and lived those lies and hurt people with lies.

Live loved ladies.  Live. Loved.    You are loved.  You are not alone.  You are loved.

I challenge you this next week to live loved.  Wake up and look at your mirror and just remind yourself "I am loved.  I am chosen.  I am worthy.  I am HIS."

The most difficult part of rejection or betrayal is that it never comes from our enemies.
I'd rather be invited and have to turn down an invitation than face rejection of knowing I wasn't invited (even if it's due to circumstances out of our control).

I have tried not jumping to conclusions.  I have tried to clear my lens and have a fresh perspective.  I have tried to not scrape together scraps of love.  I have tried not assuming the lady at the gym hates me.  But if you want to try anything.

Try, living loved.



How can I pray for you?    Do you have scripture that reminds you that you are loved?