I tried - to control too much [August.... and September Goals]

As you may know, I am a teacher.  And with that comes certain responsibilities; like I have to enjoy summer.  It's a rule, I'm sure it's in my contract... right?

Well, summer was great! Yet, I am still looking forward to the job I love. As I speak about these events, it is as if it is over.  But... IT'S NOT!  I still have two weeks before I go back to work.  OKay, I have two weeks before students start filling my classroom, slowly becoming my own kiddos.

Here's the deal.  As much I have tried to post regularly about my goals each month, and also revisiting how I did the previous month - well, that's probably not going to happen at the start of the school year.

I can only control so much.  My life can not be constantly filled with schedules and to-do's.

My reflection on July... it was not restful.  Was it enjoyable?  Yes.  But I still did not find my rhythm that I was so looking for.  I didn't find my tribe you could say.  We were able to see a lot of our favorite people, went to several weddings and events, went on a trip as a family.  Had family stay with us for a week - life was jammed back... and NOT with rest.

I eagerly look forward to August for that reason.  Look forward to finding a good pace, a healthy stride for our family to tackle the first semester.

Yes, I have already tried to excel a schedule for my family.
Yes, I have already looked at our budget and what school supplies I want to buy my kiddos (students).
Yes, I am still thinking of goals and challenges to make myself better.

But something will always take priority while something else will slip away.  I don't want that. So here are my not-goals, but my life.

Goals set me up for failure - but, living life, well I can be successful at that. 

August Life:
Health - I am happy to report that I have lost and kept off about 10-15 pounds this summer (HUGE DEAL!) and I am going to keep doing what I am doing.  Sensible eating, focusing on eating clean healthy non-processed foods.   I am going to continue to find ways to challenge myself physically, including doing this as much as I can throughout the week.

(attempting to do longer plank, more push ups and might change lunges to leg lifts)

Book - I did read/finish Messy Grace for the month of July and about 1/2 way through Hoot.  Although I did not read both for July, I am about to go on another trip and should be able to knock out Hoot rather quickly.   For August my book is going to be The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick. It looks rather interesting and hopefully a page-turner.  For those days going back to work.... I am tired when I get home.    While we are talking about books I will add, for those who are curious, that I will be reading and leading an online group through Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. This will take about 6 weeks and will find another book to read for September too! 

Scripture - although I am slacking at memorizing all of these, it's been great to be digging into the Word to find exactly what I am looking for.
Psalm 150:6
Colossians 3:12
Matthew 6:34
Isaiah 56:1
Proverbs 31:30

My wonderful husband also bought me the She Reads Truth Bible!  It weighs more than a new born baby, but that weight is because it's filled with knowledge and beauty.   My goal is to do their studies for Titus, Philmon and Hebrews and for September work on Proverbs.

Fall is my favorite.
I welcome you.
Giving up control.

I tried - March {April Goals}

Dear March,
You were good to me.  Lots of reasons to celebrate (most birthdays in a month).  Including my sister's new baby girl! *squeals* We had Spring Break, a time to relax and reconnect with family - much needed.  Fresh air filtering through the screen door as I listen to my sons play freely in dirt and new grass. Peaceful.  As quickly as you storm in, you roll out in a different storm.  And you always welcome your friend April.  Thank you March.  Until we meet again.  You were good.

I didn't even have time to write a pre-March challenge.   So here is what I accomplished:
Book - I read and enjoyed The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.  You can read about it here.   I also took notes and skimmed over a book about how to read your Bible better; you can find those thoughts here.
Health - I didn't do well, but I didn't do horrible.  I kept running but I was not successful this month with tracking my food or my workout events.  Here's to "just be healthy"
Scripture Memorization - I (attempted) to memorize Matthew 15:18, Philippians 2:3, Matthew 25:25-26, Proverbs 10:17 and Isaiah 41:10.  I also, along with my husband and two friends sat down one evening and we read the entire book of Romans.
Challenges - The challenge I chose, and completed for March,  will be revealed at a later date for it is something that deserves it's own entire post.

Do you ever have those moments that the puzzle is just done. complete. finished and you have no idea how you got to that point, but it feels great.  My April puzzle is complete.  Here are some of the pieces that started to point towards the completion of what April is shaping up for me.

* My favorite quote since high school (maybe prior) see below

* Last Sunday our church started a sermon series called "Overload"

* Had planned, months ago, to read Jen Hatmaker's book "Seven" - first introduced by a friend 3 years ago. 

* Recently watched the documentary Minimalism that several friends raved over months ago.

* In preparation to move (now we are not) we had started a collection of things for a garage sale and will be participating in a City Wide sale. 

* Pinterest board from months ago had April as the "Waste Less" month
* My interest in the Tiny home movement.
* Easter - a major time of reflection.

"Simplicity is the Ultimate form of sophistication." -DaVinci

April shaped up to be a month of scaling back, losing the excess, finding peace in the simple things, joy.  Spring is typically the time that people do their "Spring Cleaning" - all of the above small pieces were just a way for me to realize that it's more than my house that needs spring cleaning; but my body, mind, and heart do as well.  A month to purge. 

Book - As I mentioned before I have been interested in the book "Seven" by Jen Hatmaker for a few years.  I purchased it over Christmas break in anticipation to read it sometime in 2017.  Perfect timing.  Although it's not April yet, I have already started reading it - let's just say this - she's hilarious.  [Purge - media and hopefully will read more books]

Health - April 1st will be a big day - running my first 15k.  Although I have ran a half marathon, this will be challenging for I have not been able to train as much as I would like.  I had some encouraging ladies remind me that it's okay to walk and just have fun.   A few weeks later I will have another 5k and would love to see my time improve.  I WILL (not going to try, but DO) the above daily challenge as well as the same amount of burpees as is the date.  So, April 7th I will do 7 burpees.  I will also be completing whole30 simultaneously tracking food and water intake. I might even participate in Jen's first chapter about Seven Foods....... [Purge fat and negative self image]

Scripture Memorization - I have the following pieces of scripture to work on memorizing and more importantly applying to my life: Proverbs 1:7, 1 Peter 2: 1 - 3, John 8: 31 - 32, and Luke 10: 41 - 42.  The cool 'God' story about these scriptures, they have been listed in my Bible for several weeks, but they all seem to fit the need to focus on Jesus and his teaching - true priorities.  [Purge the world]

Challenge - I am going to be keeping the same challenge that I have been working on this past March. I look forward to updating everyone about the observations I have been honored to witness from doing this very easy task in my life.  I am also going to do something, that I just learned about tonight, called "listening prayer."  If you would like to know more about what it is, please ask. [Purge doubt; in others too]

February 2017 {January book review}

January has come and gone.  What a month   it was for our family.   We had lots of moments of reflection and opportunity.

As far as my goals went for January:

Book: Understanding the Bible in 30 Days by Max Anders; it was a good book.  However I treated it more like cliff notes and not an actual book.  Each day/chapter (30 of them) there was an introduction to the concept/topic.  A lot of times they were stories or analogies.  Slowly I stopped reading them and  went to the "meat" of the chapter looking at the Bible part.   It did help me understanding the types of books in the Bible.  It helped me understand the history of the Bible as well as give me a better idea of popular topics and scripture to support those concepts.   I think if you were new to wanting to read the Bible it would be a great resource, but for me, it was not my favorite.

Health: 30 day challenge and whole 30.   Neither of these goals were met.   I didn't even run that much; which is good for my soul too.   I had some good days in both departments and I had some bad days.

Scripture Memorization:  I am writing them on a note card to hang in my bathroom, a note card to leave in my van, and then reading several times out of my Bible as well as putting it in our kitchen on the chalkboard.   I am doing pretty good.  Sometimes can't remember all the previous ones.  I would like to get better at helping our oldest to them with me.  I think he is capable.

Challenges: to stick to it, inspire, and encourage.  Well, I did some of those, but not to the fullest potential.   Will get better.

February 2017

Freshness is in the air.  The days are getting longer (praise him) and the month is short and filled with dates full of love and opportunities to encourage other people!

Book: During Christmas last year a sweet co-worker posted on facebook that she wanted to pass on a book; "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow.  I told her I was interested in it.  The next day it was in my mail box at school with a sweet note.  Although I don't tend to one filled with anxiety I think it will help address issues so I can better serve those who do have anxiety issues.  Look forward to reading it.

Health: Jeremiah and I are going to do whole 30 to the best of our abilities.  We both have conferences on weekends (where food is provided); so we will do our best under those situations.    My goal is to also make this a lifestyle change and not just a monthly fad.   It takes 60+ days to form a habit, so I would like to carry this into March as well.   I have several running races coming up and would like to increase my speed.    I am also on a relay team and need to train for a 10 or 12k!    Tonight I plan on taking the kids to the gym as well.  Starting out the month right.  If I am not able to run or go to the gym I would like to stick with some sort of challenge (see below) or quick work out at home.

Scripture Memorization:  Psalm 62: 1-2, James 1:22, Ephesians 4:29, and James 1:19.  As I am picking these some are given to me, some are ones that I have picked for a while, and some are found as popular ones to memorize.    Slowly over time I am challenging myself to memorizing more than a few verses.

Challenges:  I would  like to write a card or letter every day this month.  It's the month of love and I would like to share that with peple.   I was gifted with words and would like to share encouragement with those around me.  I also want to be more focused in my prayer.

Another month to a better me!

How are your goals going?  Any topics you want me to write about?  Any books you think I should read?

----> {2017} <----

Another year has come and gone.  

Seriously, where have you gone?

I want to be a better me.

A better:

Christian me

Healthy me

Wife me

Mom me

Friend me

Daughter me

Financial me

Writer me

Reader me

Hobby me

A better 2017 me.

I just want to be better at being me.  My only competition is me.  I am not competing with facebook friends or the amount of 'likes' I can get.  I am not competing with pinterest people. I am not a huge "new years" resolution person, for I believe you can always change - the month doesn't determine your desire to become someone better than you were the day before.    

This year I am trying to get in mind that as long as I am moving forward, I am making progress.    I have lot of habits I want to form and some habits I want to break or recreate into something better.
When you google "how long does it take to form a habit" this pops up:

Recent research led by a team at the University College London think they have uncovered just how long (o average) it takes for something to become habitual.  They do not think it takes 21 days to form a habit.  They believe it takes an average of 66 days to create a habit.  

Sixty six days!  Two months?!?  I want to keep this in mind.  I know myself well enough to realize that being realistic is my game.  I'm not a "dream big" person. I expect to fail, and that's okay.  It's part of the journey.  So when it comes to me making goals or new years resolutions, I want something that is tangible, as well as something that if not achieved will keep me motivated.

December 31, 2017  

I  am being flooded with excitement just thinking about where I will be in 365+ days from now.   Oh the excitement, the changes and transitions.  The arguments, mourning, joy and glee.  The praises, the songs, the moments of silence.  Oh - what is going to happen in the next coming months and  weeks?!?!  Where will be at the end of the year?  What are our new dreams and goals? Is Soren potty trained?   How does Gideon like school?  Do they share a room and love it?  Who lived with us this year?  Were we more generous than we have been before?  Good stewards of our money?  Good stewards of our time?  Did social media finally find it's rightful place; the bottom of the totem pole of priorities?  How has God blessed us this year, even when we didn't deserve it?   What times of sadness did we have to over come together?

So many questions.  

In a year, we will have the answers.
I understand some things are out of my control.  'Tis life.
I understand some things need to be out of my control.

As a teacher, there is a style of writing lessons plans called "backward planning" where you start with your end result or goal and work to your starting point.   I am going to apply that methodology for my year.

For a lot of my year goals will only be achieved by my daily activities.  The in the moment yes and no; the journey of choosing. 

These goals, resolutions, whatever you want  to call them, are woven together so beautifully, sewn together like one of my Grandma's hand quilted blankets.  They go together.  My physical will effect my personal as will my relational will effect my mental and so forth.

Physically - I would like to feel healthier and not struggle with my self-image.   Ideally I would like to weigh 140 pounds (less than 3 pounds a month), have a 5k race time of less than 32 minutes (10 minute pace), and set or do other physical activities like, get a bike and use frequently, run another half, set personal records in lifting, obstacle race, etc.

Spiritually - I want to be closer to our amazing creator.  It's hard for me to put a number or deadline on this growth.  I would like to read my Bible more/better.   I would like to finally (never had before) memorize scripture and have Gideon help me with that.  I just want to have my heart in check.

Relational - I would like to be more of an encouragement for others and strength and grow new relationships.   I hope that through my other endeavor my relationships with my husband and kids will improve as a natural by product of my efforts.

Financially - I would like be more generous in our time, treasure and talents.  I crunch numbers frequently, and God always provides, but this year I would like to make sure to be purposeful of my resources and be stewards with what we were provided.

(Challenge Sheet)

The above is a picture of my Challenge Sheet.  At the top I have "Priorities, Projects and Prayers" the main things I would like to focus on for the month.   Priorities could be of any focus or challenges like not eating out for the month.  Projects can be what book I am reading for the month, crafts, the monthly photo album, etc.  Prayers can of any nature or need or a time frame.  

The middle part of the challenge sheet I have weeks. Here I will post the scripture I would like to focus on for the week  and any other benchmark goals that might help with the monthly challenges.

The bottom of the  challenge sheet is where I will post daily challenges.  These challenges will be achieved at an 80% rate.  Reading my bible daily really means 5 out of 7 days.  No one is perfect.   Daily challenges include, drinking a gallon of water, no sugar, a variety of fitness challenges, purging/organizational challenges, writing cards, tracking food/points, limiting social media, etc.

BONUS

If you want to follow my 2017 pinterest board, go here. I don't get on pinterest as much as I use to.  But it is a good way to collect and share ideas and links.

For those of you still reading here are some challenges I am going to hopefully have our family do, as well as links and ideas to help you.

I am going to encourage Gideon to put pennies in a jar corresponding to the number of days into the year that we are.  At the end of the year I would like to find an organization, of Gideon's choice to donate the money to.  

I would also like to have a praise jar - so we can look back and remember all of the positive awesome events in our life, a memory jar if you wish

I found some monthly challenges with different themes.  Some of the days are easy - smile at more people - for example.  But something fun!

I have not decided what weekly scripture I will be doing, I like to be inspired or reflect on something for the week.  Again, I would like to include my family in on this, so some might be "kid" friendly.  

The following two links are PDF's of weekly scripture.  Click here for a list.  Click here for another option that is more kid friendly.

You can find another list here. 

It's going to be a great year! 

I tried - and did whole30 (modified)

30 Days!

30 Days without sugar, grains, and dairy.

Day 6 I wrote a post about why and how I was doing everything.  Catch up with it here. 

Numbers, I tend to communicate better with them and pictures speak a thousand words.   Let's go back on a journey.

Early June 2015 - about 36/37 weeks pregnant with our second.  
I went into the hospital at around 240 pounds.  

July 20ish 2015 - Soren was around a month old.   I was 220 pounds.  

End of September 2015 - My second 5k, my first post second baby.  193 pounds!

A big shout out to my sister - running and keeping me accountable for months. 

I ran, counted calories, ran some more.   

One of my favorite runners =]

Second week of June 2016 - wearing the same race shirt as above picture. 

Back in March/April I hit a plateau around 170-175 while I was training for my half marathon.

Over summer, when I STOPPED counting calories I started to gain more.  I was back up to 181!

September 14, 2016 when I started my "whole30" I was at 176. 

These were the men and women who held me accountable.

Even if they weren't able to contact me, it gave me a name to focus on, a person to pray about instead of for myself.  This was key to my success.  I can't stand letting people down.  

October 15, 2016 - My lowest weight I have been in some time.  I have lost about 66 pounds.  Although that doesn't seem very significant, to a short person, it is.  

During the past 30 days I encountered several parties, luncheons, and even baked treats for my friends.  I passed up donuts, peach cobbler, cupcakes, chili dogs, pizza, cookies, cake, pizza, ice cream, dessert, bread, cream and sugar in my coffee several times, and did I mention pizza.

And it was worth it!

Although I am totally happy with my physical weight loss, I am more pleased with what I learned about myself.  I am fully capable of saying no thank you when a treat is offered.  I am able to pass up and make better alternative choices when it comes to food.  I am able to be disciplined in my actions.

Was it hard - at times.  The hardest part was when I wasn't being watched.  My husband was gone about 5 nights of this entire event, and there were so many times that I knew there were goodies in the house.  Although tempted, I did not partake.

Could I have lost more - probably.  This was a modified whole30.  I still ate peanut butter and raisins.  And if I would have been more careful about those food I probably would have seen a greater loss in weight.  But I am more than pleased!

*******

Today was my first day after.  Did I splurge, maybe.  Do I regret it, a little.  Will it happen again, possibly.  Am I human, totally.

I debated back and forth what I would do on today.  Would I go crazy and eat all the foods I have not been able to have.  Would I continue my journey without sugar, grains or dairy.  Would I do a little bit of both.

While reading on how to transition back into the "real world" from whole30 I read that we shouldn't make cheat days; that by making a cheat day we are telling our brain we already gave up and that we HAVE to eat unhealthy to make it worth our cheat day.  That really clicked with me.  I know I can say no.  So, just do it.

Today though, was different.  My family, including my dad were going to an amusement park about 2 hours away.  Because of this trip I was able to experience and test out a few things.

1) I was nauseous.   I did not have breakfast and we tend to get treats for the road before we go anywhere.  I packed some fruit for me, thinking it would be sufficient, but when my husband wanted to share gas-station breakfast-pizza with me, I didn't say no.  I had, after the boys, about 2/3 of a really greasy toxic delicious pizza.     With my pizza I did have an apple.  =]

2) I was gittery.  I am not for sure if was the amount of coffee or the few packets of sweetener and a couple of containers of cream I doctored my coffee with, but boy when we got to our destination I was literally shaking.  

3) I felt gross, until I drank water.  But even now, hours later I still feel bloated and heavy.  Maybe I am just tired....

4) I was surprised.  The foods I wasn't use to eating weren't that good anymore (except for the cookie).  I tried a strawberry lemonade - SO much sugar - blah!  Body needed water.  I tried a little bit of cheese on nachos, felt weird and almost foreign.  So for lunch as the boys snacked I ate another apple, a bite of banana, and a few bites of potato/nachos.

5) I was comfortable.   After we left, our boys were "starving."  Honestly, they were hangry.  Our oldest wanted mcdonalds, which we never get.  I had the option of ice-cream to cheeseburgers, but passed because I wasn't hungry and new I didn't NEED anything.   I tried one of the boys chicken nuggets (still gross, like before whole30).  

6) I was happy.  I like healthy food.  When we got home the boys ate, again; they ARE boys.   I had left over sweet potato, broccoli and tilapia.  I was happy with it.

7) I can still have what I want.  I made cookies on Thursday.  I took most of them to work but kept a few back for friends and the trip.  So, today, after the boys were in bed, I had 2 cookies.  In total today I think I had about 5 cookies.  Do I regret those cookies - not in the slightest.

So...

Where do I go from here?

My goal after I had Soren was to get down to 150.  I would still be considered over weight.  But shoot, I think I was at my goal weight when I was 12.  We all know how hard that will be.    I have 14 more pounds to go.  My new goal date - January 1, 2017!    I would LOVE to START out the new year as a new me.    14 pounds in 11 weeks.  Totally manageable.  Am I always going to do whole30?  Maybe a modified version that is less strict or okay with certain foods at certain times (Pizza is pretty hard to pass up).

If you personally now me, please continue to hold me accountable.  If you see me at school, church, come over to my house or hang out somewhere, please ask me about my journey.  I don't like letting people down, so please reassure me that we are on the same team.

Saying 'no' to food more often, is saying 'yes' to me being the best me. 

I tried - to cheat {my weight loss journey}

Your body doesn't lie.  It's that simple.

I had a c-section June 23rd to have our second son, Soren (he was breached).   I was told to take it easy.  Did I?  Probably not.  I was told to wait six weeks before  doing anything rigorous.  Did I?  Not really.

I am hyper competitive, and even  more so when it comes to myself.  Although I try at a lot of things, I also strive to be the best.  Best me to be a better wife.  Best me to be a better mom.  Best me to be a better... daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, teacher, writer, organizer, person.

(The coffee mug Jeremiah got me at Kennedy Space Center  <3)

You can't be the best when you cheat.

Believe me.  I've tried cheating.  

Yup.  I've tried cheating myself out of being the best me. But your body doesn't lie.

After I had Soren I kept lying and telling myself that I was being healthy.  I was lying and kept telling myself that one donut was okay; or that I could skip out on my walk.   I did initially have to take it easy to heal after the major surgery.  And I did lose about 25 pounds after having him.  But for gaining about 55/60 pounds - and starting the pregnancy over weight - I had MORE to lose!

I was getting frustrated.  But it was my own fault.  I was cheating and my body wasn't going to lie for me.  We went on vacation (and let me tell you... swim suits don't hide anything! ... all truth, for all to see).  I really wanted to go up to strangers and tell them "It's okay, I just had a c-section 4 weeks ago."  but I didn't.  ---> IT'S HARD NOT TO CHEAT ON VACATION  <---  

We got home from the beach and I knew I needed to get serious.  Get competitive.  Stop cheating myself out of being healthy for me and my family.

August 1st, I started my healthy weight loss journey.  I weighed in at 209/210 pounds.  That's a lot for my short little self.  Saturday's have become my official weigh in days.    Last Saturday I weighed in at around 206.5/207.  I was happy to see progress and it kept me motivated for this past week.

I know I shouldn't boast, but I AM proud.  Last week I went back to teaching.  I passed up donuts several times, chocolate, brownies, and even mac and cheese for Gideon.

But, I didn't cheat. I kept my eating choices healthy.  I made sure to eat breakfast (see below).  And I tried to be active.  And by not cheating, I was successful!

This morning when I weighed in, the digital numbers stopped around 201.5/202.5!  

I stopped cheating, changed the way I ate, and started moving more (on week two of couch to 5K) and IT. PAYED. OFF!    Seeing those smaller numbers really does keep me motivated.  My goal next week is to get to 199.   Hold me accountable.

The journey is slow, but totally worth it.

My Healthy Breakfast

(It's fast, so you feel like it's a cheat) 

(The cooked egg part of my breakfast sandwiches)

I am not a morning person.  No where close to being a morning person.  And honestly, not something I am trying to change right now.   So breakfast was something I use to skip.  Healthy stuff took to much time.

I've been eating breakfast bagels.

In a silicone muffin pan I crack an egg in each hole.
I add chopped tomatoes and frozen/chopped spinach.
I mix it up int he muffin cup.
Top it off with a little salt and pepper (I also put red chili flakes on top for some spice).
Bake at 425* for about 20 minutes.

Then in the morning when I am in a rush.  I take out one of the eggs (80 calories) of the fridge with a mini-wheat bagel (110 calories)  and a slice of pepper-jack cheese (80 calories).  Warm it in the microwave for 30 seconds.  And BAM you have a healthy delicious breakfast sandwich for about 270-280 calories!

Don't eat the same thing every day though, it not only gets boring, but it's not great on your metabolism either.    Today I also made oatmeal-banana pancakes.  They were pretty good and will have to tell you later how I use those for quick breakfasts.

For humor - because smiling is important too!  

How have you improved your eating this week?   Are you moving more?  

I tried - eating healthy

So I am on a weight loss journey.   A lifestyle change. #willlose60

I want to be healthy not just for myself but for my family and as a reflection of my spiritual journey as well.  

Last summer some girls and I read through "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst.  She reflected a lot on what we eat is more of what we are missing.  From her book: 

"But we must realize God created us to crave more of him. Many of us have misplaced that craving by overindulging in physical pleasures instead of lasting spiritual satisfaction. If you are struggling with unhealthy eating habits, you can break the “I’ll start again Monday” cycle, and start feeling good about yourself today."

This week I have been working out more and eating better.  I wanted to share a new treat!  

Frozen yogurt bites.   

I used a 1/4 cup and measured out yogurt into cupcake liners.  *note to self - use metal or the latex ones.  Paper has to be peeled very carefully.  

Each of these treats is only 50 calories.  I get my ice cream fix and feel spoiled at the same time. 

They are easy to fix. Quick to grab.  Already portioned control. 

What are some of your healthy snacks or meals.  What do you crave over Jesus?