I am tired of going back in time....(verse)

 Anyone else bothered by the news? 
Just me and a few others. 

Yo, that's the problem. 

Handmaid's tale, here we come. 
This is not the journey I want to be on. 
The path needs to make a turn.

For the better. 

This is worse. 
We, the country........ 

         sdrawkcab gniog era

Nobody knows. 

OH - you all know. 
you avoid. You hide. You pretend...

not with a good imagination. 

You pretend like things are fine. 
It is fine
       if you are white,
                        male,
          heterosexuals.

I am disappointed. 
I feel, again powerless. 

I am enough

There is currently no trying in my title of this post.
I am not trying to be overwhelmed.
I simply am.

I am overwhelmed with bitterness, sadness, loss, compassion, confusion, certainty and love.

Today I told myself I was going to write a blog about how this summer went, an apology to my kiddos for not having enough play dates, and how I don't have a tribe (group of friends, community, solid, depth, somewhere to belong).  A mixture of things really.

A combination of events happened last night and today have let me to write differently.  But while doing my Hebrews study I wrote a prayer to God that contained: To be vulnerable we remember we are enough and belong.  I don't feel like I belong with a group, or even with most people.

Later I wrote:

Every time I stop and think that I am
Not enough. I will
Out loud speak truth; that I
Understand that I am loved.
God gave me an identity; in
Him I realize I am worthy.  I belong.      

So as today continues to unfolded I realized that my own selfish needs to be heard are all for my own outcry.

Right now, I need a war cry.

Romans 8:26
Isaiah 4:23

I wrote the above almost 4 years ago, but never published it. It still, sadly, seems fitting. 

Some of my past blogs remind me, in my own words, how far I have come. And how lonely the journey has been. 

* Uninvited Book Study circa 2016

* Mentor {Open Letter}

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