Regardless, I am putting my heart out there through my words again.
Have you ever watched an entire show from the pilot episode to the series finale? And when it ends, you have this gapping hole, like "now what"? That these strangers came to be more, and you looked forward to enjoy their lives (no matter how fake or real they might be).
That's currently where I am at. The end.
I feel like my series is over; the characters that have developed over time will be missed. The plot twists have ceased and I am walking out, alone, into darkness.
If I hang in there, I know another network might pick me up. They make spin-off series all the time. Right? Or volumes of seasons. This isn't my true end. Just a different beginning.
This year (and I mean school year; August - present) has been filled with trials and growth, not just at my job, but in general day to day life.
That's currently where I am at. The end.
I feel like my series is over; the characters that have developed over time will be missed. The plot twists have ceased and I am walking out, alone, into darkness.
If I hang in there, I know another network might pick me up. They make spin-off series all the time. Right? Or volumes of seasons. This isn't my true end. Just a different beginning.
This year (and I mean school year; August - present) has been filled with trials and growth, not just at my job, but in general day to day life.
So, this was my classroom. I walked out of it for the last time a week ago. It was my home for the last 5 years. My pregnant swollen feet paced this room. Our oldest started school from this room. Push up and plank challenges took place in this room. Hugs and laughter were shared in this room. Cheers and uproar echoed within these walls. Lightbulbs clicked on as foundations in understanding were repaired, replaced and strengthened. This room is more than just some brick walls. It's the lining of my heart.
I walked out by choice, "going without knowing" as a coworker told me. Since October my husband has been working weekends about 2 hours away. It has caused some awesome calendar balancing, but we managed to work as a family. Because of this wonderful opportunity we decided to move our family that direction this summer. I have since found another teaching job, and eagerly await the new adventure - the spin off series.
But THIS series finale was hard. It wasn't just a season, knowing I'd come back after summer, with a tan. But I closed that door, turned in my keys, and walked out.
It was hard to leave.
I had one of THE BEST teaching partners/coworkers I could have ever imagined or dreamed of. She blessed me with prayers, compassion, a listening ear, wisdom, hugs, goodies, and love for my family. This lady was an anchor to making me feel successful, we worked so effortlessly together. I worked with a great team of teachers whom I respected greatly - for they did their job, and did it well and appreciated the fact that they knew how to laugh and have a good time.
But then there are my students, my kids. This group this year stole my momma heart. They were ornery and mischievous. They were sweet, friendly and helpful. Some of them took bigger pieces of my heart, some of them I would seriously have adopted without question. I am just glad to know, that for a short period of time, they were able to feel some genuine love. These kids carry stories that don't belong to children. They carry heartache and brokenness at a magnitude that is indescribable. I look forward to seeing what these young people do in a few years. They will conquer so much; for they have already. Here's to the graduating class of 2023!
One of the most challenging parts of teaching is that you don't always know if what you are saying is getting through to them. But thankfully, I know that with this group, they were listening. I had letters and cards written with such sweet words. Words to remind me why I do my job, why it's not a job, but a privilege. Words that I didn't even expect from some. Treasures.
So, this summer, we are moving. I am sure it will be a whirl wind of events; filled with tears of joy, fear and excitement. And here shortly I will be turning lights on into a new room, new challenges, new kiddos, and new opportunities to keep giving it my all.
One student got me the book "Auggie and Me," knowing that I read Wonder and enjoyed it. Inside she not only wrote a letter but stuck in little reminders like the one pictured below.
I walked out by choice, "going without knowing" as a coworker told me. Since October my husband has been working weekends about 2 hours away. It has caused some awesome calendar balancing, but we managed to work as a family. Because of this wonderful opportunity we decided to move our family that direction this summer. I have since found another teaching job, and eagerly await the new adventure - the spin off series.
But THIS series finale was hard. It wasn't just a season, knowing I'd come back after summer, with a tan. But I closed that door, turned in my keys, and walked out.
It was hard to leave.
I had one of THE BEST teaching partners/coworkers I could have ever imagined or dreamed of. She blessed me with prayers, compassion, a listening ear, wisdom, hugs, goodies, and love for my family. This lady was an anchor to making me feel successful, we worked so effortlessly together. I worked with a great team of teachers whom I respected greatly - for they did their job, and did it well and appreciated the fact that they knew how to laugh and have a good time.
But then there are my students, my kids. This group this year stole my momma heart. They were ornery and mischievous. They were sweet, friendly and helpful. Some of them took bigger pieces of my heart, some of them I would seriously have adopted without question. I am just glad to know, that for a short period of time, they were able to feel some genuine love. These kids carry stories that don't belong to children. They carry heartache and brokenness at a magnitude that is indescribable. I look forward to seeing what these young people do in a few years. They will conquer so much; for they have already. Here's to the graduating class of 2023!
One of the most challenging parts of teaching is that you don't always know if what you are saying is getting through to them. But thankfully, I know that with this group, they were listening. I had letters and cards written with such sweet words. Words to remind me why I do my job, why it's not a job, but a privilege. Words that I didn't even expect from some. Treasures.
So, this summer, we are moving. I am sure it will be a whirl wind of events; filled with tears of joy, fear and excitement. And here shortly I will be turning lights on into a new room, new challenges, new kiddos, and new opportunities to keep giving it my all.
One student got me the book "Auggie and Me," knowing that I read Wonder and enjoyed it. Inside she not only wrote a letter but stuck in little reminders like the one pictured below.
Here's to my spin-off series. Loveandnumbers2.0
PS - to my friends and family - you will be missed too; it's different (for some reason). I am sure those tears will roll as our tires pull away from our drive one last time. I'm not ready for that.
PSS - another post this week about Romans BSF study and how my disputes aren't the best....
PSS - another post this week about Romans BSF study and how my disputes aren't the best....
The depth of your heart pours emotions through these words.
ReplyDeleteAs a reader I feel the "what now" when I finish a book. The characters become part of my life. The parallel to a series is poignant. I'm sharing this as there are many others who can be touched, and encouraged by your words.
New Beginnings / Second Chances is the title of my next article. May I use portions of this post if they fit into the words God gives me?