I Tried – Receiving Rejection [Chapter 9]

I have had three life changing rejections, events, situations that truly altered the way that I am today.  From a past boyfriend, to a failing marriage, to a group of friends removing themselves from being around me.   One of the first things I would do was cry out “God, why me!?”  

Chapter 9 – Why Does Rejection Hurt So Much?  

When we are rejected, why is that we question God’s goodness?   Do we think we are so humble that we can request ideas and make suggestions to the almighty creator?  Like, really….who do we think we are? 

I found it really fascinating that on page 105 she talked about a study that showed that emotional pain is received by our brain as actual physical pain.   That when patients were given Tylenol the hurt from a broken heart was numbed. 

(A little off subject, but I am curious if this is why drugs are so “needed” by many; used to mask actual emotional/hurt…. Because without God, they miss the opportunity to receive from rejection)

Even in those deep moments when we start pleading with God and asking “why me?” and starting to really think that we just simply aren’t good enough, God is at work.   He is working his almighty plan even when we feel passed over. 

You aren’t set aside; you are set apart, page 108.     Once we humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6) is when God can truly show us what he has been working on this entire time. 

Lysa states on page 110 that rejection offers gifts that God can work in our lives, if we allow it.  They are gifts of humility.

1) The GIFT of being made less.   Just stop, right there – I don’t care for less, unless we are talking about my current weight – than less is great.  Or maybe messes or poopy diapers.  But I really can’t stand feeling less than others, looked over, left out, less than.   BUT when we come humble to God and receive the gift of being made less, something wonderful happens……. Wait for it…… we receive him MORE.  Less of us = more of God.  Who doesn’t want more God?  By sitting on the bench during this game, called our life, allows God to make the correct play.  We can see what God has been working on.  

2) The GIFT of being lonely.  Now, honestly, even as an introvert there is lonely and then there is LONELYY.  I enjoy my alone time.   I get to sit, reflect, be still, go slow, and enjoy nature, and have time with God.  I look forward to being an "antique" one day so I can have more ‘self care’ time.  But when we are rejected, the last thing people want, even some introverts, is to be left alone.  We were made for community, to be around people, to serve, help and love people.   BUT when we come humble to God and receive the gift of being lonely we are able to recognize Jesus.  It’s like a mirror.  When we recognize and acknowledge our loneliness its like looking loneliness in the mirror, instead of seeing ourselves sad and broken, we can see Jesus and all his love and glory. 

3) The GIFT of silence. For us to LISTEN we have to be SILENT.    As humans we listen with the intent to speak.  We don’t really listen.  This is the gift that might be most commonly over looked.  Like at that birthday when you got clothes, although a necessity, a gift often over looked by kids - unless you don't have clothes.  BUT when we come humble to God and receive the gift of being silent is when we can hear God’s plan for us.  Hear God’s reminder “you are loved.”  “You are mine.”  "You are a necessity."

Do these gifts sound wonderful to receive?  We can only receive these gifts from rejection when we humble ourselves and we have to be humble through FORGIVENESS.  Page 115 makes an excellent point.

God made us For Giving
God made you For Giving
God made me For Giving

Being humbly rejected is the perfect opportunity to allow us to forgive one another; for we are forgiven.  Let us Rejoice in these gifts given by God. 

Rejection is not being set aside, but being set apart.  God has a plan, his plan includes protecting and loving us.  What if what we were wanting to happen was taken because God was stopping a burden from entering our lives? 

Looking back at my weakest moments, crying out to God “why me”  was me being a bratty kid at my birthday; I was not wanting to receive God’s gifts' those necessities.  I was not wanting to be set apart.   Through my three biggest rejections, I can now say, God had a greater plan and I am thankful for that.

The hurt from the boyfriend – God protected me, allowing me to grow.  I now have a story to be transparent about while connecting with other women in similar situations.  I was set aside, for bigger stories.  

The hurt from a failing marriage – was a plan for God to move our family into ministry.  Seven years ago we were trying to mend a marriage; now we are planning for my husband to graduate a Christian College and look for a full-time position in a church – we were set aside, not looked over.

The hurt from a group of friends – they were not only protecting themselves, but my heart had to be transplanted and shattered to allow God in and repair me.  I was not being replaced, I was being used in his great plan.

I tried receiving rejection – and even if it took time, even  if I wasn’t humble at first, God always had a great plan.

I think I should sit the bench more.